Atem had hurt Ryou first, by making a quick decision about where to keep the body that had unanticipated consequences, and by being critical when that wasn't what Ryou needed. He understands that today has been terrible. But his feelings are sore, wrung-out. He's not sure how to unpack all of them, but he knows for sure that now's not the time. Later, maybe. Once the skin Atem dried out is back to what it was. If Ryou is in a place where burdening him with it won't be too much for someone coming back from death for the first time. For now, just not being pushed away is helping; it lightens the weight on him. Atem still doesn't see the way out of the pedestal-trap, he's still in it, but he can keep going, like this.
And that's the key: to keep going. Atem can't spend too much time now wondering whether he could have predicted it after all, if there was a sign he'd missed. Reviewing the last round once you've learned all you can is wasted time; what matters isn't a perfect score, what matters is staying in the game. And Ryou's made it clear that it's not over.
He can feel Ryou's face beside his. Gently, with a very, very small motion, Atem brushes his cheekbone against Ryou's. Sorry. I missed you. I love you.]
You don't have to. And you don't have to be grateful to me, for doing something that ended up painful, and wasn't useful to you...I know it hurts. But it won't hurt forever.
[He relaxes, a few degrees; Atem's wing body-language goes from restrained and pulled-in-tight (a hands-to-himself feeling, like tucking your elbows in in a crowded hallway) to something looser. His wings' thumb-claws unhook from his wings, and they wrap around Ryou, too.]
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Atem had hurt Ryou first, by making a quick decision about where to keep the body that had unanticipated consequences, and by being critical when that wasn't what Ryou needed. He understands that today has been terrible. But his feelings are sore, wrung-out. He's not sure how to unpack all of them, but he knows for sure that now's not the time. Later, maybe. Once the skin Atem dried out is back to what it was. If Ryou is in a place where burdening him with it won't be too much for someone coming back from death for the first time. For now, just not being pushed away is helping; it lightens the weight on him. Atem still doesn't see the way out of the pedestal-trap, he's still in it, but he can keep going, like this.
And that's the key: to keep going. Atem can't spend too much time now wondering whether he could have predicted it after all, if there was a sign he'd missed. Reviewing the last round once you've learned all you can is wasted time; what matters isn't a perfect score, what matters is staying in the game. And Ryou's made it clear that it's not over.
He can feel Ryou's face beside his. Gently, with a very, very small motion, Atem brushes his cheekbone against Ryou's. Sorry. I missed you. I love you.]
You don't have to. And you don't have to be grateful to me, for doing something that ended up painful, and wasn't useful to you...I know it hurts. But it won't hurt forever.
[He relaxes, a few degrees; Atem's wing body-language goes from restrained and pulled-in-tight (a hands-to-himself feeling, like tucking your elbows in in a crowded hallway) to something looser. His wings' thumb-claws unhook from his wings, and they wrap around Ryou, too.]