Ryou's heart feels like someone's got their fingers around it, squeezing so hard he can't think. Atem looking at him like that is almost too much, because Ryou knows he cares and he wants to tell him...but he's already hurt Atem so much just by being so unlucky, and then by spitting in his face over his efforts to make Ryou comfortable when he revived.
He can't...he can't tell him. But he can lean into that touch, while trying not to set his jaw and failing miserably.]
There's a lot on my mind, Atem. I just want to...I want to build the Monster World board, and not go outside or worry if someone's going to see what misfortune I've suffered and feel bad for me.
Please...I'm sorry, alright? This is something I chose to do, and I should have told you.
[He chose to make a void in himself so that the other void didn't consume him. Not that he could say that.]
It's nothing anyone made me do, or that anyone can help. As long as I'm eating souls, this discomfort will pass.
[He's not ready for it to. When it does...what'll be left for him to think about but the Ring pulsing painfully just below his skin? The jaws of a living beartrap closed around his head? The emptiness of sensory deprivation when you have no skull?
...The fear that he's going to push the people he cares about away because he's too much to bear? No one can help him. Not without being hurt first. He'd proven that by telling Atem off.
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Ryou's heart feels like someone's got their fingers around it, squeezing so hard he can't think. Atem looking at him like that is almost too much, because Ryou knows he cares and he wants to tell him...but he's already hurt Atem so much just by being so unlucky, and then by spitting in his face over his efforts to make Ryou comfortable when he revived.
He can't...he can't tell him. But he can lean into that touch, while trying not to set his jaw and failing miserably.]
There's a lot on my mind, Atem. I just want to...I want to build the Monster World board, and not go outside or worry if someone's going to see what misfortune I've suffered and feel bad for me.
Please...I'm sorry, alright? This is something I chose to do, and I should have told you.
[He chose to make a void in himself so that the other void didn't consume him. Not that he could say that.]
It's nothing anyone made me do, or that anyone can help. As long as I'm eating souls, this discomfort will pass.
[He's not ready for it to. When it does...what'll be left for him to think about but the Ring pulsing painfully just below his skin? The jaws of a living beartrap closed around his head? The emptiness of sensory deprivation when you have no skull?
...The fear that he's going to push the people he cares about away because he's too much to bear? No one can help him. Not without being hurt first. He'd proven that by telling Atem off.
Never again.]