[Oh, no. Ryou...Ryou sure has a particularly bad reaction to death, dosn't he? Atem's been through it so many times that all it takes for him to bounce back is, apparently, one person being there and being kind to him through it.
But what Ryou says after that, it...
...it helps, a little bit? It helps that Ryou does want to do this himself, that Atem isn't his keeper.
Trying to be...has been hard.
There's a slight relaxing, in the muscles of Atem's back, under Ryou's claws. Arms wrap around Ryou's shoulders, too, holding him back.]
It's okay...it's okay, to fight. Even people who care about each other a lot...fight, sometimes. Especially if they're hurting.
Fighting doesn't mean I don't love you, or won't forgive you. I don't want to be hurt, and I don't want to hurt you, too. But...I warned you when this started, didn't I? That I wasn't sure I'd be good at this. That we might hurt each other. That I might not be perfect.
[oooooops that control's slipping again. He's tired, he's so tired, and his mouth is moving, and he can't stop it.]
I'm not perfect, Ryou. I lose sometimes. I guess wrong! I'm afraid -- I'm afraid of letting down the people who matter most, and I keep--! [He keeps not being able to protect them. Admitting this -- admitting fears -- probably wouldn't have happened if it weren't for the monster last month.] I'm afraid that if I don't help you...you'll...you'll just hurt, and it won't get better, and you'll either escape into a dream, or you'll despair, like other monsters despair, and do something desperate because you can't stand it here and end up in the prison!
[The thing is...he doesn't want to not have faith in Ryou, but he's also worried. October's going to be hard. Can Ryou...can Ryou do this on his own, and be thinking straight in time for the October fog, and what comes with it?
He holds Ryou tighter.]
I need you. I need you to solve this. I don't think starving yourself until you don't eat anymore is the answer, but I can't fix it for you. All I can do is tell you what I think, and...and hope it's right.
no subject
But what Ryou says after that, it...
...it helps, a little bit? It helps that Ryou does want to do this himself, that Atem isn't his keeper.
Trying to be...has been hard.
There's a slight relaxing, in the muscles of Atem's back, under Ryou's claws. Arms wrap around Ryou's shoulders, too, holding him back.]
It's okay...it's okay, to fight. Even people who care about each other a lot...fight, sometimes. Especially if they're hurting.
Fighting doesn't mean I don't love you, or won't forgive you. I don't want to be hurt, and I don't want to hurt you, too. But...I warned you when this started, didn't I? That I wasn't sure I'd be good at this. That we might hurt each other. That I might not be perfect.
[oooooops that control's slipping again. He's tired, he's so tired, and his mouth is moving, and he can't stop it.]
I'm not perfect, Ryou. I lose sometimes. I guess wrong! I'm afraid -- I'm afraid of letting down the people who matter most, and I keep--! [He keeps not being able to protect them. Admitting this -- admitting fears -- probably wouldn't have happened if it weren't for the monster last month.] I'm afraid that if I don't help you...you'll...you'll just hurt, and it won't get better, and you'll either escape into a dream, or you'll despair, like other monsters despair, and do something desperate because you can't stand it here and end up in the prison!
[The thing is...he doesn't want to not have faith in Ryou, but he's also worried. October's going to be hard. Can Ryou...can Ryou do this on his own, and be thinking straight in time for the October fog, and what comes with it?
He holds Ryou tighter.]
I need you. I need you to solve this. I don't think starving yourself until you don't eat anymore is the answer, but I can't fix it for you. All I can do is tell you what I think, and...and hope it's right.