[Ryou flicks a sideways glance at Atem when he feels that, his eyes glowing brightly in the poorly lit room, and he offers a small smile before peeling the lid back.
Once the cookies are exposed to the air and Ryou can smell them, he swallows hard. The collar around his neck almost feels oppressive for just a moment.
Being faced with something he's wanted, that he'd told himself he can't have but is having anyway...it's kind of messing with his head. He's doing this to prove to Atem that he can solve his own problems, and by god he really, really wants the cookie! His mouth's watering and he can feel an odd tightening in his throat as if it's already trying to prepare for him shoving food into his mouth.
Is it okay? What if this makes it worse? It can't, right? It's...in his head. It's totally fine, right?
--No. Stop. He can't think about it long enough to talk himself out of this. He's not alone. He has someone here whose expectations he has to meet. And...it's not just expectations. He's being supported in this, just for doing it. Right?
So before he can mind calculus his way out of it, he shoves the cookie into his mouth.
And regrets it instantly oh my god so sweet...!]
Mmngh!
[Ryou doesn't spit it out, but boy does the ultra-sweet flavor make his whole jaw hurt. He hasn't had food in days, now it tastes overpowering. He puts his hand over his mouth as he chews, and eventually he can just...enjoy it. And he does...he'd missed it so much...
He eventually takes another cookie, and he's not shy about eating it as well. Maybe he should eat something more balanced before he gives himself a stomachache, but at least if he did, it wouldn't be the same as that gnawing, terrible hunger he'd been dealing with of his own choice. Idiot. Big, stupid idiot.]
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Once the cookies are exposed to the air and Ryou can smell them, he swallows hard. The collar around his neck almost feels oppressive for just a moment.
Being faced with something he's wanted, that he'd told himself he can't have but is having anyway...it's kind of messing with his head. He's doing this to prove to Atem that he can solve his own problems, and by god he really, really wants the cookie! His mouth's watering and he can feel an odd tightening in his throat as if it's already trying to prepare for him shoving food into his mouth.
Is it okay? What if this makes it worse? It can't, right? It's...in his head. It's totally fine, right?
--No. Stop. He can't think about it long enough to talk himself out of this. He's not alone. He has someone here whose expectations he has to meet. And...it's not just expectations. He's being supported in this, just for doing it. Right?
So before he can mind calculus his way out of it, he shoves the cookie into his mouth.
And regrets it instantly oh my god so sweet...!]
Mmngh!
[Ryou doesn't spit it out, but boy does the ultra-sweet flavor make his whole jaw hurt. He hasn't had food in days, now it tastes overpowering. He puts his hand over his mouth as he chews, and eventually he can just...enjoy it. And he does...he'd missed it so much...
He eventually takes another cookie, and he's not shy about eating it as well. Maybe he should eat something more balanced before he gives himself a stomachache, but at least if he did, it wouldn't be the same as that gnawing, terrible hunger he'd been dealing with of his own choice. Idiot. Big, stupid idiot.]