[Komaeda, still hanging his head, feels his ears pin back once again with the mention of the Sea of Stars. He doesn't want to think about it—how easy it would be for him to no longer be here, with the people he loves. How he would rather die a thousand deaths and lose all of his memories, just for the opportunity to fall for them all over again, instead of being apart forever. Each one of them has begun to fold into themselves, and it's his turn to do the same.
Komaeda's arms cross over his middle, settling their weight over the tops of his thighs as he bends forward. He no longer holds his willowy shape, but the remnants of it is there, in the way he leans forward like a tree seeking water. He doesn't want to look up. He doesn't want to see that pitying look in Ryou's eyes that he imagines is there, or the disappointment on Atem's expression as he has to fight, once again, to get the truth out of Komaeda. He had been so haughty about how terrible the communication of this conversation was going, and yet, he was participating in that just as much as the rest of them.]
You know, Ryou-kun... You're really good at reminding me of all the things I don't want to think about... [There's no bite to his words. They come on a short huff of air, as if he were trying too hard to inject humor into such a deprecating statement.] I'm really... Not used to kindness.
[His tail curls around his foot-paws as some bastardization of how his mer-tail might try to anchor him and feel secure. As he sits there, a needling thought that he doesn't feel right in his own skin injects itself into the quagmire of negativity passing through his skull. His yearning for the water has never been stronger.]
There is no guarantee we'll be here tomorrow... [He repeats,] which is why I wanted to know what sort of things would be okay and not okay if Atem-kun and I were to be together. That's all I was trying to ask, because I need to bring that to my other partners, but... I suppose I worded it in the worst way possible.
It was easier with Lila and Hinata-kun. They talked among themselves without me having to set it up... Everything went smoothly, and here I took that to mean that I'm the senior in this sort of thing when, really... My ego has only ruined it.
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Komaeda's arms cross over his middle, settling their weight over the tops of his thighs as he bends forward. He no longer holds his willowy shape, but the remnants of it is there, in the way he leans forward like a tree seeking water. He doesn't want to look up. He doesn't want to see that pitying look in Ryou's eyes that he imagines is there, or the disappointment on Atem's expression as he has to fight, once again, to get the truth out of Komaeda. He had been so haughty about how terrible the communication of this conversation was going, and yet, he was participating in that just as much as the rest of them.]
You know, Ryou-kun... You're really good at reminding me of all the things I don't want to think about... [There's no bite to his words. They come on a short huff of air, as if he were trying too hard to inject humor into such a deprecating statement.] I'm really... Not used to kindness.
[His tail curls around his foot-paws as some bastardization of how his mer-tail might try to anchor him and feel secure. As he sits there, a needling thought that he doesn't feel right in his own skin injects itself into the quagmire of negativity passing through his skull. His yearning for the water has never been stronger.]
There is no guarantee we'll be here tomorrow... [He repeats,] which is why I wanted to know what sort of things would be okay and not okay if Atem-kun and I were to be together. That's all I was trying to ask, because I need to bring that to my other partners, but... I suppose I worded it in the worst way possible.
It was easier with Lila and Hinata-kun. They talked among themselves without me having to set it up... Everything went smoothly, and here I took that to mean that I'm the senior in this sort of thing when, really... My ego has only ruined it.