softspokenlandlord | IC Inbox

[For Atem, offering this trust and asking for trust in return is what is right and fair. If he expects Ryou to trust him to be careful with his own life, then Atem has to do the same for Ryou. Even if he doesn't like it -- even if the idea of Ryou carrying someone else's wounds hurts, even if he's afraid that if Ryou takes enough physical injuries, Ryou won't be able to be there to talk to Atem, which is what he wants from Ryou, not horrible horror-game healing--

...he's got to respect Ryou's choice to play the way he thinks is best.

Atem strokes the side of Ryou's face, a touch that's more human-to-human than human-to-dog, but which does involve fingers lacing through fur.]

I know. Each memory I lose...that's a part of my heart that I'll never get back. It's really serious, now...I'll have to be more careful. I won't choose death again!

[He means it. Even though showing AM he's a threat was worth it to him, Atem doesn't want to lose any of his memories. They're incredibly important to him, and besides...he only has so many. The ones from when he was alive, and the ones from Domino -- both of them are precious, and both of them are few.

He takes hold of Ryou's dog-face in both hands as he goes on, looking him right in the eyes.]

But...you already protect my heart. By listening, when things are hard, and understanding things no one else really does...don't you see? You were good at taking my pain away from the beginning -- monster-ability or not!

[How does he express to Ryou how precious that is to him? How much it matters, that Ryou does that for him, in a way no one else he knows can? How Ryou doesn't have to suffer to provide invaluable support?]

[Ryou leans into the touch, trying to relax. His own hands fall lower, settling at Atem's waist for lack of anywhere better. This is comfortable. This is where he wants to be.

They were arguing before...he knows he should still be upset, and he is. But more than anything, he just wants to hold Atem close, to remind himself that Atem is here, safe, his.

The instincts that come with this temporary change are strong--Ryou only wants to protect the ones closest to him, to rail against those who would harm them. But right now, it's the proximity he wants.]

I'll always be here, you know. For you. I wouldn't ever want to leave if it meant leaving you.

[It's a dangerous sentiment, isn't it? To not want to leave. But he doesn't care. Not right now, anyway.

When they lock eyes, Ryou's wearing a determined look, his golden irises practically glowing.]

I'm going to do better. I know...listening is its own help. But I can still do better. I will, for you. You won't die again. I don't need to take your physical hurt to make sure of that, I just need to be stronger.

[--something clicks, finally, in Atem's mind. Maybe it's just that he was too upset before to really get it, when Ryou said it a moment ago, but this time, it lands.

Ryou wants to be stronger. He wants to stand on his own two feet, with pride, able to protect himself and what matters to him. It's not enough for him, not anymore, to just listen, to allow this place to happen to him, and to rush to put himself back together in time to cower in the face of the next blow. Ryou wants to take the reins of his life, own his powers, instead of letting himself be led around, instead of lashing out when it all becomes too much.

Protecting what's important to him...being able to have that, to hold the people he loves close by...Ryou's willing to face what Ryslig throws at him, if that's what it takes. He's going to fight, too.

Atem recognizes that.

He nods! His eyes are lit up, looking at Ryou proudly, with respect.]

Okay.

Ultimately, you'll have to be the one to find your strength...but you won't have to do it alone. I'll support you, along whatever path to power you take!

[Oh, Atem's all about this. Self-actualize, Ryou, fuckin do it, he knows you can.]

[Ryou's taken aback by that. He expected Atem to coddle him, maybe pat him on the head (metaphorically speaking) over his wishes. But...it doesn't feel condescending?

It's genuine. He wants Ryou to do good. He knows Ryou will do good.

It makes the patch of fur between his shoulders bristle up again, but not because he's aggravated. If that were the case, then his tail wouldn't be wagging, would it?

This...is this what it feels like to be believed in? Ryou would never say it out loud, because it's his self-esteem that's the issue, but he never really feels believed in to that degree. October took a harsh toll on his confidence, because he'd clearly not been trusted. But here Atem was, encouraging him, saying he'd trust him to make the right choices and find his own strength.

...His tail is wagging more rapidly now. When Ryou finally gets hold of his senses, he leans in close to nuzzle Atem's cheek before quietly pulling him into a tight hug. It's warm, loving...and ultimately very emotional, though that's not quite as clear until Ryou speaks, his voice wavering.]

You don't h-have to do things alone either...o-okay? I'm still...I'm not okay with what you did, Atem. But if you can believe in me, then who am I to do any different?

[He's not going to say "I forgive you" unless Atem wants to hear it, because it would sound disingenuous even if he didn't mean it to. But he...does forgive him. He can't do anything else, he loves the bastard.]

[Atem holds him back. If he has less wing, he might be in danger of disappearing into the wolf-fur and arms. But he's got an enviable amount of presence, even without big Ra-wings, so even though he's gained no height at all as a nephilim, Atem is unmistakably here.

That's only fair, Ryou. Ryou doesn't have to be okay with every decision Atem makes. Atem wants Ryou to be happy, and to be happy with him and what he does, and he'll listen to Ryou, always. But very, very few people can get Atem to act in a way he disagrees with. Only one, actually, and he also has wings.

Sometimes, Atem will decide things against his own best interest, because they're worth it. Like attacking AM. Like prioritizing Yugi.

But, where he and Ryou are...this is good. Atem is satisfied with this. He pulls back just enough to hold Ryou's jaw in one hand.]

You must be exhausted. Go on, step into the light. I'll get cleaned up, and I'll stay with you.

[He misses falling asleep with Ryou sometimes. It's warm and comfortable, and waking up together is nice. Being awake all the time...resting, but not sleeping...he'd probably be more okay with it if it didn't involve so much having to leave a bed with Ryou in it.]

Mmnh, you just got here...now you want me to sleep?

[It's not said as an accusation. Rather, there's a petulant note to it. Despite his feelings, Ryou's concern had dialed up his loneliness rather much, and the relief of having Atem back here, safe, made him want to wrap his entire self around the nephilim.

...Though it also has something to do with the fact that they can't sleep together, and Ryou misses it. He knows as soon as he steps into the light, the painful (but not intolerable) regression back into his day form was going to take whatever energy he'd stubbornly clung to. But Atem's right, he is exhausted.

So reluctantly, he pulls away, but not before pressing his nose to the bridge of Atem's briefly in an odd show of affection--he feels bad that it's a little cold and wet, but in this form...he doesn't think Atem would want to kiss him anyway, and as much as the instinct is to lick, he tries not to do it so much. He's just doing the best he can!]

I suppose you're right though. I can't smell you like usual with all the sea mixed in.

[And he does love smelling Atem like this. Sorry not sorry.]

[Sorry, the full dog snout's a little much for mouth smooching. We can't all be Lila Zacharov, fearless furry.

Cold nose presses are okay, though.]

If you stay up, I'll stay up with you! But I miss your other face. This one's cool, but the other one is cute!

[He heads for the bathroom, thanking Clint, wherever he is in the Sea of Souls, for making the showers bigger than usual.]

And I'll be sure to get all the salt off, so it doesn't get in your way anymore.

[He winks. One of the cheekbone-eyes winks along with it.]

[Ryou's tail sways placidly from side to side. He's...happy Atem likes both faces. Ryou's facial structure in day form is still not a 1 to 1 human look--he has a pink animal nose and it pokes out a little as if the fog decided he should look a little like a wolf, but not nearly as much.

...At least it's better than his shade face.]

H-haha...well alright. I'll wait for you in my room then.

[He smiles softly after Atem, charmed by the double wink.

...Ryou does appreciate that Atem is washing up while he changes, because it does hurt, and he hates to do it in front of Atem and causing him worry. So it's only once Ryou can hear the shower running that he finally steps into the light of the sun, triggering his reversion back into day form. To stifle his pained groans, he pushes his face into the couch cushions, curling into himself as bones shift and shrink, and his snout pushes back into his face. That part has to be about the worst thing, because it feels like someone's punched his nose in.

Every. Single. Time. Ugh.

The transformation finishes up in about a minute or so, but Ryou's left dizzy and exhausted by it, so he doesn't move for a couple minutes longer. In the time it takes Atem to shower, he manages to stumble off to his room, though

Sometimes...Ryou prefers to sleep in his night form, just to avoid this transformation. Changing back to night form hurts less and brings energy rather than taking it. Now, as he curls up in his bed...all he can think about is how aggravating it is that he won't be able to stay awake with Atem for long.

Hell...he's kind of dozing now...]

[Not a word about Ryou's shade face! That's nice, too! That's Atem's second favorite Ryou face, after human!

A few minutes after Ryou's in bed, a nice smell floats into the room. If Ryou's eyes aren't open to see Atem drift in, then he won't have any warning before a warm arm slips around his waist. The air might feel slightly damp; his hair and feathers are as dry as he can get them in a reasonable amount of time, but they'll just have to air the rest of the way out like this.

(The wings are very, very fluffed up. Maximum volume. Including the ear wings.)

He's also got a weird golden cloth loop floating around his shoulders. He can't do a thing about that, but at least it's some kind of weird ultra-light half-tangible fabric, so it dries quick.]

[Ryou's pink nose starts to work almost as soon as Atem enters the room, and he opens one eye lazily--when had he even closed them? Ugh--just in time to acknowledge the arm around him. One ear twitches a little, and he smiles, glancing up tiredly at Atem.]

Mmm, you smell better. You smell like you.

[Well, him as a nephilim, anyway. Ryou likes it a lot. Atem smells like spices and honey, comforting things. Not that he smells awful as a vampire, it's just different. Nephilim are made to smell extra nice...]

...H-heh. Your wings...they're very fluffy.

[He hesitates, as if he wants to ask something very personal. In a sense, he is. But there's something deep down inside of him that really, really wants to comb through the feathers. Not to feel. It's...hard to describe it. He's not sure what he wants.]

May I touch them? The ones on your head?

[What's Ryou going to ask, it looks serious, but Ryou'd just called his wings fluffy, what's comi--

Oh. Oh, what a sweet request.

They flap a little, shifting and repositioning, as Atem's attention turns to his head-wings. He glances to the side, at one of them, then smiles and closes his eyes.]

Yes, you can.

[And, by way of explanation:]

They're not quite dry! So, it doesn't feel right, if the feathers lie flat.

[The big back ones fluff and flutter, making a thpthp noise.]

[Ryou reaches a hand out, passing his fingers gently along the feathers of the closest head-wing, noting that they were fairly damp, yes. He could only hope that it wouldn't give Atem a chill to have the feathers even a little wet like this.

As he strokes the longer feathers, Ryou can feel something nagging at the back of his mind, pushing him to focus on something else, very very important. VERY--

He wants to groom Atem's feathers. He wants to do something abut the moisture, about the fluffed out texture--but no, it's fine. It's fine!]

Oh, is that what it is? I could dry them for you...if you want.

[Groom?

No they're fine. Atem doesn't need to be groomed, or...preened? He's okay. They look fine.

They could look better! You could make it better!!]

They're...cute like this though.

[Dry? Groom?! Groom!!! Atem is pack!!

The argument going on in Ryou's head is comical, and it kind of...shows on his face a bit, a subtle draw in his brows, as if he's thinking particularly hard about something.]

[As Ryou pets along the pinfeathers, the lines around Atem's eyes relax. It's not quite eyes-falling-half-closed, but it's a sign he's relaxing.

Until Ryou offers to--

--dry them?

They're what??

Atem's not one hundred percent certain what's going on in Ryou's wolf brain, but he sees something's on Ryou's mind. What's this about?]

What, with a hair dryer? Now?

No, no. I'd be happy to do it with a towel.

[The insinuation there is that a very sleepy Ryou would dry each individual feather and set them right and even he knows that's ridiculous, but it seems like the Correct Choice right now.]

...But if you don't want that, it's also okay. It's pretty late...

[One of his ears flicks in aggravation, but not at Atem. Shut up, instincts. You can groom Atem later.]

[Atem doesn't think, Ryou should sleep. The fog is already rolling in, and there will be trouble very soon.

Instead, if this is what Ryou wants to do, and it's worth staying up for, for him...

It seems oddly important to Ryou to do it?]

Well. I wouldn't mind, if you're sure you're not too tired.

I'll be alright. It shouldn't take too long, right?

[Famous last words. But he does push himself up slowly, raising a hand to rub at his sleepy eyes. Regrets are immediately had because ugh, the bed was so comfortable, but once again, his instincts are winning out against common sense.]

Mmm, let me get a towel. Or...maybe a couple.

[That's a lot of feathers to be drying out, after all.]

[Ryou shuts his eyes to rub at them, and there's a sweet-smelling breeze that floats through the room. When he opens them, there's three towels stacked neatly on top of one another on the bed, and Atem is seated next to them, wings curled high up over his shoulders so he doesn't sit on his own feathers.]

Is that enough?

[Oh.

Ryou needs a moment to recalibrate after that. Did Atem--wasn't he just--

Oh. Oh, this is a nephilim thing isn't it? Ryou still looks a little taken aback, but he at least understands what just happened a little.]

Um. Yes, that's enough.

He reaches to pick one up, then scoots closer to Atem. He looks thoughtfully at the headwings, then at the massive flight-capable ones on Atem's back.]

I'll do the smaller ones first, if you don't mind...

[Atem's not very tall, but Ryou still turns towards him, folding his legs beneath him so that he can get a little extra height. His entire demeanor becomes attentive, with ears turned forward, tired gaze sharpening, nose twitching slightly.]

Okay.

[Atem stretches one of his ear-wings out, spreading the feathers. Present: wing.

He's really not sure why Ryou wants to do this so much, but he's perfectly willing to let it happen, especially since Ryou doesn't really want to sleep, and Atem can't, so the more time they can spend together awake the better...]

[Ryou opens up the towel, then leans in. Gently, he begins to pass it across the feathers while his other hand holds the small wing from the back. He's very gentle about it, starting with the upper row first...then hooking his claw beneath those feathers to push them slightly upward so he can work on the next row. And so it goes.

He's very much concentrating on it, trying to do a good job.

Groom boyfriend. Groom right.

Ryou's so focused that he doesn't offer any conversation. Sometimes your wolf says take care of your pack, and you listen.]

[...something about being taken care of like this stirs up old memories. It's...it's really nice, to have someone put you in order this way...and it's not just anyone, it's someone Atem cares about, a lot.

There's trust to it, in letting Ryou take a wing full of delicate, hollow, easily-breakable bones into his clawed monster-hands, and not pull it back. The kind of trust you need, to let someone in this close to you, to let down your guard around them, to feel safe in their hands....

Atem lets out a sigh, his eyes falling half closed. It's almost odd, now, not to feel the rumble in his chest, the buzz of air meeting resistance on its way out, that signals he's content, that he wants this to continue. The timbre of the sigh, the expression on his face, will have to do, to communicate the same thing. It's so gentle, so unlike what he gave up his last free life in order to avoid...]

[The sigh makes Ryou's right ear twitch forward. He almost expected Atem to purr, except this isn't the right monster for it. But the sigh sounds satisfied, and so Ryou himself is pleased by it. His tail brushes lazily from one side to the other to convey his own contentment as he carries on, going layer by layer, making sure not to hurt a single feather.

It's hard work, but Atem's in good hands. Ryou's fingers are gentle, skilled, and steady, thanks to his hobbies. There's no need for concern.]

...You like this?

[He's not sure why he asked. He already feels like he knows.]

[In a deeper register, one that gives away how relaxed he is:]

Yes.

[Why lie? But, he picks his voice up out of that tone, back to something a little more normal, the feathers of both wings twitching a little.]

It's nice.

[He feels like, by the time Ryou's done with this, he'll have had all the rest he needs.]

I'm glad. I know it was probably weird to ask something like this...when I should probably be sleeping.

[Ryou scoots a little further back, so he can make sure the feathers are properly dried from the back now. It's a little bit of a faster job on that side, he finds.]

I...I wanted to spend some time with you, and fix you up. It must be boring, to stay awake so long.

[Ryou finds the times that he sleep to be a wasted moments now. He's a little jealous that Atem gets to stay awake all the time, because that's time they could spend together!

...Which is a little cringy, he imagines. He doesn't own all of Atem's time. He doesn't want to! But now, especially after finding out that Atem had gone looking for trouble and found it, to the point that he'd died...well. Ryou just needs to settle his nerves. He needs to feel like he's doing enough, wolf instincts or no.]

This side's done. I can do the other one now!

[He's happy about it, enough that his ears are raised.]

All right.

[Atem leans back on his hands, propping himself up a little bit lazily, and turns his head and extends the other wing. He's looking at Ryou with clear, unabashed affection.]

It feels much better, now that it's dry.

[A quick flutter of the dry wing, then it's tucked back into place beside his face, just behind his bangs. All the feathers fall neatly into proper alignment, smooth and even.]

I'm glad I get to spend more time with you, too. It's not the same when you're asleep, no matter how cute your sleeping face is!

Edited 2021-11-16 03:58 (UTC)

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, WhiteWizard. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 007.80.751.19 * WhiteWizard has joined 007.80.751.19 <WhiteWizard> Hello, this is Ryou Bakura! <WhiteWizard> Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything. :) <WhiteWizard>** I will get back to you as soon as possible.

IC Inbox | ryslig

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intrusive wolf thought in this house

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