softspokenlandlord | IC Inbox

[Feeling safe...here...that's an illusion, isn't it? You never know where the next hit's going to come from...even when Atem's present, the forces here can hurt the people he cares about...he hadn't been able to stop the dollmaker from replacing Riley's voice box. And, even with three months of time to find a way, Yugi's not out of the game...

But maybe that's not the point here. Even if you can't really be safe, feeling safe is important for things like sleeping, like going to a beach with friends, like having a home to come back to. You can't be on, watching for danger from any corner, every second of every day. Even if it's a lie, being able to feel safe sometimes is important. He's...he's got to let Ryou have that. Protect that, for him, even if Ryou gets hurt sometimes.

(And, in the meantime, strengthen his own position. He'll find a way to do it, without compromising his principles...he'll kill in public, in a way that sends a message, but that protects his friends...If you can cheat, I can, too!)

Atem's arms tighten, like Ryou's did.

The horrible truth is that this could have been worse. He's furious, red-hot mad every time he's reminded that it happened at all, but at least Ryou is here. At least he's alive, he didn't take a death, he is handling the added injuries so well it's actually a bit concerning (it's got to be because Ryou's spent so much of his time injured that he's much, much too used to it, and doesn't see the point of waiting to kiss until he's feeling better, which, fucked up, Atem just wants to talk).

Ryou's breathing, he hasn't lost his mind, he's not lost his memories. He's not gone.]

I'm glad I can. I'm glad I didn't lose my chance...

[He pulls back, far enough to look at Ryou, get one hand back on Ryou's cheek, letting the other rest across Ryou's waist at his hip.

Atem's so glad Ryou wasn't killed, so glad it makes his heart hurt.

(this hurt will be repaid, he swears it, paid for in agony and blood.)

He moves in again, and he's going to kiss those feelings out, until thinking about it hurts less. The snakes aren't exploring comfortably, not like before -- they press themselves to Ryou's face and hair, wherever they can reach. Nothing like Ryslig to make you grateful for the little things, like "at least the torture wasn't fatal this time." Atem's own fingers trace Ryou's cheek, under his eye. Some of the snakes are hissing again, but not the ones in close.]

[Ohhhh to be a fly in the brain of Pharaoh Atem right now. Ryou would probably have things to say...but the fact of the matter is that he has things on his mind too. Lots, and lots of things, most of them starting to give way to the pain...but he doesn't whine. He doesn't make a single discomforted sound because if he does then this might end.

Ryou desperately doesn't want it to end.]

You'd have to try harder than that to lose any chance.

[That's all he says, with a soft smile curving the corners of his lips as he looks on at Atem with probably a pathetic amount of adoration. This is dumb. He's dumb. But it's okay to be dumb if you like someone, he's come to realize.

His eyes slip closed as Atem's lips meet his once more, and this time the sound he makes isn't really a happy little hum. It's...something lower, something more satisfied. He's not going to push anything further, he's happy to exist in this liminal space between finally admitting feelings and actually attempting to control any part of this.

Then again...Ryou was never much for controlling anything besides his own tabletop games.

So he lets Atem have his opportunity to explore the kiss. To explore him, but only if he wants. After all, he'd made out with the dream version pretty thoroughly on his living room floor until they were basically tangled in each other and there wasn't anything else to think about. Why shouldn't the real version be granted the same courtesy?

...Not that he expects Atem to do anything very overt. The kiss is just...nice, really.]

[The kiss isn't exploratory so much as intent. Atem's heart aches. Ryou's looking at him like that, like he'd forgive him anything, and he's -- if Ryou had died, if he'd been left with scars from that death, if Atem had woken up here and been alone, if he'd had to wait until the next fog just to see Ryou again, much less start work on mitigating the damage he took...he can barely stand to think about it.

Atem's kissing Ryou like Ryou is the most precious thing in the world, with the drive of someone who'll fight to keep it from being taken away. It's careful, and it's gentle, but Ryou is held like you'd hold an animal you thought you'd lost, but found again -- you love them too much to squeeze them too tight, but keeping hands off them is hard too, and you never want to let them go, ever, because you're angry and frightened and glad.

And then Ryou makes that lower sound, and something inside Atem's chest, then down closer to his stomach, turns molten. He's not sure what he's going to do about that, besides take a breath in through his nose, and feel the mania carrying him get redirected, like a diverted river. His snakes quiet again, but they don't go still; Atem deepens the kiss (a clawed hand slides up to the back of Ryou's head, a thin forked tongue slips past his lips) as nearly a dozen little heads caress Ryou's face with theirs. Small snake-chins bump against Ryou's cheeks and forehead and ears (though not into them), even pushing their way into his hair, where it's warmest.

Yeah, that's, ah, that's not a sound that anyone Atem's dated has made for him. Looks like dating won't immediately make everything weird? Well, weirder than a bunch of snakes deciding to hide in Ryou's hair, at least.]

[Ryou lets it happen, of course. He lets Atem in and his own tongue explores the feel, the taste of something very different from what he's used to. The dream really can't compare to the genuine article, even if it's not exactly the same. Atem's tongue is too long, thin...it's forked, because he's a snake and that's not altogether a terrible thing, Ryou likes weird things. What's wrong with a weird experience?

But this...this is what's keeping him here. What's diverting all of the negative things. It's Atem's lips, his tongue, his adorable little hairsnakes pressing against Ryou's face, and he's melting, too warm, every part of him is tingling.

He hasn't said it, he still isn't sure if it's right to say it but in this moment, he really does love Atem. It's unequivocal. And when the snakes start to bury themselves in his hair, gently tugging at the strands, he shivers a little, because it's a pleasant feeling on top of all the rest of them.

Please, nothing ever interrupt this. Let him live...]

[Knock knock knock.

It's not loud from in here, but it's sharp and businesslike and cuts through the air, carrying even into the bedrooms. There's a moment of hesitation, as Atem decides if he wants to move, but a second knock knock knock! presses the issue.

Atem's tongue retreats, his grip loosens, the kiss breaks with a quiet little sound, and he straightens up, listening. His snakes turn toward the door. Ryou is beloved but also Ryou needs help, and this is a necessary step that needs to be taken before any more kissing, Ryou being unnaturally used to wounds or not.]

That might be the doctor...

[There's a little bit of color high in his cheeks, but it's a flush from the kiss, not any particular embarrassment. He doesn't feel at all like he's been caught doing something he isn't supposed to do. Atem stands by all of his choices today. The hand around the back of Ryou's head has gone down to his shoulder, but the one on his hip is definitely still resting there, even as Atem's shoulders turn to follow his snakes. He'd better get that.]

Edited 2021-08-24 05:26 (UTC)

[Ugh, see this is his fault.

He thought it, he had to fucking think it and now the kiss is over and Ryou lets out a soft whine of annoyance because...because he was enjoying that! But then...Atem's right. He's always right, and as soon as the word doctor leaves his lips, Ryou finally lets his fingers uncurl from around Atem's side and oh, owwwww, yeah.

Yeah he needs a doctor. As he pulls away reluctantly, still pouting in frustration, he remembers why he'd struggled in the first place. The medicine had dulled the edge, of course, but the sustained gripping motion has his arm burning pretty badly. It's like an itch, but he knows if he scratches it he'll probably bring himself to tears.

...And then there's the leg. No, he's not moving that.]

F...fine, it's...yes. Y-you should get the door.

[Ughhhh everything hurts and his heart wants what it wants but he he can't have it yet, so whatever Atem decides, he's going to get a good look at a pouting shade with a blush all the way up to his ears. Sheesh.]

[Disappointed little whine: cute. Frustrated blush: cute. The reason he had to disappoint Ryou: unforgivable. Verdict: cute, too cute to stand, shadow game deserved. The clashing hot and cold fronts of Atem being furious and Atem being charmed are stirring up storms, but all that's deep below the surface for now. If Atem's good at anything (besides games), it's skimming above the surface of deeper fears, bigger problems, so that he can deal with the current situation with (what he considers to be) a clear head.

He pushes his body off the bed, bringing his whole self up, but...before he goes, he leans back in, in a big snakelike arc, and takes Ryou's chin to turn his face to Atem's, and plants a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Atem can't make it better with justice, not yet, but he can offer reassurance and care.

Three or four tiny tongues flick over Ryou, too. One of them snifflicks the bridge of Ryou's nose. Sssssh.]

I'll be back.

[And he lets go and slithers out.]

Edited 2021-08-24 15:13 (UTC)

[Ryou would have been perfectly set to pout until the doctor actually entered his room, but then Atem has to be...honestly, perfect. He's watched as he rises from the bed, then...stared at curiously when he draws in close.

Ryou blinks once when Atem turns his face...then relaxes just a bit when he's kissed at the corner of his mouth. Atem would probably feel it too, just a half-second before he pulls away, when Ryou starts to smile. It's a vague shadow of one, at least up until some of the snakes join in and then he can't help himself--the smile becomes dopey and contented when their little tongues tickle at his face. Ryou please, there's something to be said of rose-tinted glasses here.]

H-heh heh...'kay.

[He'll be patient. But just for you, Atem. He also won't be moving much because uhh when Atem isn't there, the world reminds him everything hurts.]

[The person who answered the phone at the clinic was a human; the clinic works with a skeleton crew, literally in Dr. Pierce's case, it's a joke he loves to make, but some humans are on the payroll. She's a veteran, a survivor of years of catastrophes, and she knows Atem well enough from his blood drive volunteer shifts to be willing to make a house call, and not assume it's a disguised trap or trick.

She also knows the other Hawkeye frowns on feeding inside the apartments. So, though there's a salt-and-silver handgun tucked into a holster under her coat and over her scrubs, she doesn't anticipate that she'll have to use it. At least, not after she arrives.

Ryou will hear a quiet conversation in the living room -- thank you for coming, a woman's voice expressing surprise, something about temporary, and he's in here.

A woman with a doctor's bag and graying brown hair pulled into a tight bun steps inside this nerdy, nerdy room, followed by Atem, who has the presence of mind to stay back. Eyes like ice chips take in the shade, his current state, and the exposed injuries.]

"It's good you called me right away! Let's have a look at you. Where else are you hurt?"

[The doctor's bag is set on the bed, and a pair of gleaming scissors gets pulled out. RIP to your pants, Ryou, she'll be cutting the fabric out of the way unless something's said real quick.]

[At this point...Ryou's already accepted that his clothing from home is all but ruined. All he has left is the striped shirt, and even it has a ragged edge near the left sleeve. So...as much as he hates it, he doesn't stop her.

It's almost night and day, how he's behaving now compared to how he'd just been behaving, but that's to be expected. When he answers her question, it's quiet, but direct.]

My left fo--erm. Ankle. It was burned pretty badly too. The underside of my right foot too, but it's very superficial. It d-doesn't really hurt much. And there's, um. My arm and hand.

[Which he sets on his uninjured leg, turned upward for inspection. She might wonder how a shade let himself get so hurt. It's embarrassing. He's embarrassed that his solid form had been taken advantage of at all.

Ryou's eyes remain focused on her, for the most part. Again, it's very useful that as long as he keeps his head facing the right way, his actual gaze can shift without him giving it away, flickering towards Atem from time to time.]

[She doesn't say anything about it, about whether her patient should or shouldn't have been injured. This nurse has seen far, far more stupid injuries come through the clinic. It's not her business to question it, just to treat it. She purses her lips, and gets to work cleaning the area, gently as she can, with antibiotic ointment and a clean cloth, pulling any scraps of fabric out of the injury. Her patient's a shade, so she's got to avoid water.]

"Are they all thermal burns? Are any of them chemical?"

[Maybe Atem shouldn't be in the room for this. Maybe it's a bad idea for him to look directly at burn injuries to feet, where he can smell burned skin when he inhales. Maybe that would occur to him, if he were someone else, someone good at caring for himself at all, but it doesn't, and he stays, leaned against the wall, arms folded.

It's not so bad this time, actually. The smell of antibiotics and ointment and sterile gauze overpowers the burnt-flesh smell before long, and there's also the fact that...Ryou's burns are being treated. He's not dying and coming back with them already scarred over. He's not by himself. That's already different from what Atem experienced...

His snakes don't go still and distant. He's present, not lost in his own memories. Atem's about as okay as he can be.]

"Ah...only thermal--nnh!"

[Even though she's being as gentle as possible, Ryou still can't stop himself from making a pained sound. There's no helping it, he needed the wounds cleaned but having anything at all touch his most severe burns is almost more than he can bear.

He closes his eyes, trying to even out his breathing as the nurse works. Soon...soon it'll be over.

And once it is...Ryou can be alone with Atem once more. Just...a little longer. Just a bit more to endure...

His fingers twitch and he winces, not because of the pain, but because suddenly, he feels...heavy. Tired. A little dizzy. Maybe he'd been too distracted by confessing his feelings after all, and kissing Atem. He wonders if he'll even have the presence of mind to do anything like that again, or...if Atem would even want to.

He wants to. But...perhaps his exhaustion's catching up with him.]

"Mm."

[She'll get some anesthetic in there, clean 'em up, hit them with ointment, and cover them in gauze bandages, carefully bound down outside the edges of the burned area -- the ankle, the foot, the leg, and the hand and arm. Her manner the whole time is brisk, but not unkind; she's all business, but she's seen worse than this, and even if her tone isn't gentle, her touch is careful.

She'll also check on his medication regimen -- she checked his chart before he left and knew he was on painkillers, and is also keeping an eye out for them being over-used...but it seems okay, so she'll leave more, and note where it went at the clinic. A tub of burn cream is placed by Ryou's bedside, too.]

"Those will need to be changed every three days. Don't leave it later than five. Don't break your blisters, and don't let it get infected. You call the clinic if it does, you understand?"

[She places her hands on her hips, surveying her work, then picks up her doctor's bag. Ryou may or may not spot the gun! He may be too medicated to remember.

Atem's still doing a solid "okay." He'd hold Ryou's hand through this if he could, but since it needs to be treated...he'll settle for being present. When Ryou flinches, it isn't easy for him...but the snakes are only hissing a little. He doesn't want them to interrupt, and being present for Ryou means not getting lost in revenge fantasies. He's here.]

[Ryou opens his eyes when he's addressed, since it would be rude to do otherwise. Medicated or not, he's not going to alienate a very nice person who was taking time out of her day to fix him up.]

I'll do my best to keep up with it.

[He's tired, he doesn't seem to notice the gun, and his words are just as heavy as he feels right now. But on the plus side, the burns aren't hurting half as bad. Maybe it's the fact that they're covered, or perhaps the anesthetic is just doing a great job.]

Thank you for doing this. I truly appreciate your help.

[Said sincerely of course. Tired, medicated, whatever. He appreciates her.

And he definitely appreciates her leaving the burn cream and additional painkillers. It's a lot of upkeep, but better than not having it.

Tiredly, he looks toward Atem, whose hair is definitely hissing...but it's not too terribly loud. Ugh. He must look a true mess with all these bandages, and with destroyed pants, at that.

He hasn't fully processed that yet. Once the nurse leaves, he might. But for now he's just hoping that his bandages aren't stressing Atem out.]

[She looks down at him a moment. Then, satisfied that the message has sunk in, she turns to leave. Atem goes with her.]

I'll see you out. We do appreciate it, Nurse Olsson.

[As they leave the room, they continue to talk--]

Are you sure you don't want me to walk you back?

"Walk, ha! I've walked home plenty without your help. Fog's clear, it's safe as anywhere else."

If you're certain...

[Goodbyes are exchanged at the door, it opens and shuts, and then Atem slithers back into Ryou's room, stopping at Ryou's bedside again, taking in the state of him -- and gauging how awake he is. Quietly:]

Is there anything else you need?

[You know, while he's up, before he goes through the whole process of getting his entire self into bed.]

[While the nurse and Atem were exchanging goodbyes, Ryou takes stock of himself and comes to the realization that yes, his pants are not really hiding much right now. He pulls the blankets up, covering his thigh because bandages aren't enough to hide the fact that his boxers are visible and that's...uhm. Look. He feels comfortable around Atem, and they'd just spent a few minutes getting their feelings out and kissing and all that but...one step at a time. Honestly.

He looks up quickly when Atem reenters. Now that they're alone again, he's relieved. Still tired, but...better. The treatment he'd received, however brief, had been effective in relieving his pain, and the bandages had been wrapped in a way that didn't impede his finger movements. Even though he's at least 25% mummy at this point, it's fine. He's good.

...So he answers the question Atem poses with as much honesty as he can.]

Just you.

[That is...embarrassing! Wow!]

[A surprised blink!

Wow, that's direct...Atem doesn't think Ryou's coming on to him or anything, it's just bold enough to catch him by surprise!

Then, his expression relaxes into a smile. At least it's a wish he can grant.]

Heh! It's a good thing I was planning to stay, then. Unless you just mean you want my help lying down again!

[He knows perfectly well it's not that.]

I'm not entirely invalid, come now.

[He says this playfully, but it does take some doing to wriggle himself back down onto the bed in a more comfortable position. This time though, the bandages offer some cushioning, so he doesn't wince except for once, when he stretches his leg out.

He reaches out to brush bandaged fingers against Atem's arm. Unfortunately, he comes short and swings too far inward and his claws tap the Puzzle unwittingly. It makes a metallic ting noise, and he lets out a amused noise. Not altogether an unpleasant sound, but not his intention.]

S-sorry. Just...wanted to feel you.

[That is a very normal thing to say. Coming from a normal person who is absolutely not half-asleep.]

[Ryou does seem to be doing better than before...medicine is good actually...

...and then Ryou takes a swipe at him that's definitely the work of someone medicated. Ryou, please. Atem shakes his head, fondly.]

Hold on just a minute, then.

[--and slithers into bed for...he's lost track of how many times he's ended up here. This bed's warm and familiar, and he's gotten much smoother about getting into it than he was the first time. The puzzle gets hung up on the bedpost like it usually does, and earrings get pulled out and set aside, too. It all takes a very short time, and then, almost immediately, an arm's sliding around Ryou's shoulders, behind his neck and near the pillow. He's made himself terribly at home here over the last couple of weeks, whoops, he's shameless -- but the contact and warmth pulls a contented exhale out of Atem.

His other arm drapes loosely over Ryou's stomach. This kind of position isn't unfamiliar, but...it's a little different, now, isn't it? His heart's going faster than it usually does. Ryou's got medicine in his system to keep him calm, but Atem's going to have to settle down on his own. His snakes are acting particularly friendly, too, reaching out across the pillow with their noses and tongues to express curiosity and interest and affection.]

There. I'm here!

[This is such a familiar occurrence that Ryou automatically accommodates Atem at every turn, at least whenever he needs to. They're both pretty used to it, which is...oddly amusing given how they'd spent most of the month trying not to "make it weird".

Ryou's bandaged fingers navigate their way up. Now that Atem's closer, he can comfortably settle his own hand over the smaller teen's fingers. No grip needed. Just...simple contact. He wishes his fingers weren't wrapped, but with the blisters and the roughness from the burns, it's probably a mercy.

Once they're properly settled--Ryou doesn't do much but lay on his back, because it's easier--Ryou turns to look at Atem with a sleepy, serene look on his face that has a very small percentage to do with the painkillers. The snakes aren't bothering him enough to divert his attention of course. They'd have to thpthp in a nostril or ear or eye to be a problem. Right now their explorations are just...cute.]

Thank you...for everything. For calling a doctor, for being here...for l-liking me...

[He'll never be able to say thank you enough. Ever.]

You make everything better.

[He's going to. Just watch him. He's going to carve a place for himself out, in blood and shattered bones, a place that's, if not safe, at least hard to threaten. (sss, sss.) Atem needs to be bolder...he's always known that the way to stop people from stopping you is to act like they won't...

But that can wait.

The backs of the clawed fingers of Atem's right hand gently trace Ryou's cheek. Then, entirely unable to stop himself, he leans up so he can press a kiss to Ryou's temple. Good. Ryou is good.

The snakes don't go up his nose, thankfully. They just want to sniff him, make sure he's okay, and slither some of their bodies next to him. Some go in his hair. One tucks itself underneath a pointy ear, but it doesn't flick its tongue, just behaves like it's asleep.]

Actually...there's something I wanted to ask.

...

Marik was extremely insistent that I talk to you about this. Do you have any idea why? It struck me as strange, how fixated he was...

[The snakes don't make upset noises over this. Atem isn't upset, just confused -- and a little suspicious.]

Edited 2021-08-26 16:00 (UTC)

[Ryou sighs comfortably as Atem's fingers tickle down his cheek. That's a really nice feeling, and if he wasn't so worn out then he'd probably be more affectionate with Atem. Alas...the kiss to the temple is still nice and welcome and more than he feels he deserves.

Man. He's...still kind of boggled that this turned out in his favor. Nothing turns out in Ryou Bakura's favor. And yet...he has Atem here, kissing him gently, touching his face--

--Asking him reasonable questions.

Oof. Ryou was lightly blushing before just from the attention, but now it darkens, and he looks a little self-conscious.]

Ugh...Marik. Uhm...he was being pushy about it the day I went out on my own...I couldn't escape him since I couldn't float. We were sitting on a street bench and he kept insisting that...it would be good for both of us, because I guess you looked at me in some way when I left that whole possession fiasco at the rift? A-Anyway. He wanted to make a bet. He bet he could get you to confess to me in two weeks and if you didn't, he'd quit scheming for a day.

...So to shut him up I told him fine.

But make it three days because him and his plans exhaust me, he wants to defeat the Fog God and he just got here and now he's doing a cult thing with the Ring-Spirit and ughhhhhh...

[Ryou groans in utter annoyance. Yes, he's warming up to Marik very slowly, nooooo he doesn't care for all these machinations.]

So anyway...I'm sorry. I should have just let him keep talking and not fed into it. I'm sure it bothered you. But it was getting embarrassing...

[A beat.]

Shall I write you another coupon? 1 free favor for your roommate being a jerk.

[...

A bet?

A bet about his feelings?

???

That sits wrong with him on principle...even though it's true that Marik talking to him helped him see that not talking to Ryou about it was giving Ryou some mistaken impressions about his own worthiness, and that he really did need to be told that it was hurting Ryou to think Atem didn't like him, and this might have gone much worse if there weren't interference....]

It's not what he said that bothered me. He told me some things that I really needed to hear! I just didn't understand why he was being so underhanded about it, or what made him keep bringing it up...

[How does he feel about this? Atem is....is really, really tired, actually. He's already at full emotional capacity. His heart is overworked and already holding a lot of love and a lot of fear and a lot of murderous anger, and there's just...not room to squeeze anything else in right now. Maybe when he wakes up, he'll be able to figure it out, but it's beyond him tonight.]

You don't need to write me a favor coupon! But I do want you to be honest with me. All right? I'll ask the same thing from him.

[Marik. God. He's like three and a half people's worth of plans and drive and trouble and pain crammed into one jewelry-bedecked teenager.

(Says the pot to the kettle.)]

...so, did he lose the bet?

[Ryou nods tiredly, which looks silly since he's in bed like this.]

I will...I'll be honest with you from now on. And no more bets. That was a terrible thing to do.

[He'll be honest and not bet on Atem's feelings again. He'd only done it to shut Marik up but clearly there were ramifications he hadn't considered. Actually...he probably shouldn't have made any bets, deals, accords, or what have you while he was under the influence of painkillers, but that's the worst part then, isn't it?

Ha ha ha.

Oh, but wait. Wait a second...]

...I'm not sure if he lost the bet. When did you confess to me? Do you remember the day? Because we made the deal on the...s-sixth? Something like that. I'm pretty sure he won the bet. But there wasn't any further win condition for his victory so...I don't think he was worried about making me do anything besides...um.

Mutually...confess my feelings...

[Ah. It was one of those bets, one meant to achieve something very specific, and one you're positive you'll win.

Hm.

Is Marik getting something out of this, that Atem doesn't know about...? That's something to think over, about why Marik cares so much about this.

But not now. He'll figure out what to say to Marik about that later. Now, he's satisfied with Ryou's insistence he won't do it again, and Atem settles back down on the pillow with a resigned sigh, his snakes curling up with him.]

Our friends are going to have to find something else to talk about....

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, WhiteWizard. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 007.80.751.19 * WhiteWizard has joined 007.80.751.19 <WhiteWizard> Hello, this is Ryou Bakura! <WhiteWizard> Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything. :) <WhiteWizard>** I will get back to you as soon as possible.

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