softspokenlandlord: (Default)
Ryou Bakura ([personal profile] softspokenlandlord) wrote2020-11-18 01:10 am

IC Inbox | [community profile] ryslig

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, WhiteWizard.

FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 007.80.751.19

*** WhiteWizard has joined 007.80.751.19
<WhiteWizard> Hello, this is Ryou Bakura!
<WhiteWizard> Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything. :)
<WhiteWizard> I will get back to you as soon as possible.
knifemonopoly: (they sing and dance oh ey oh)

cw self harm itt also, and self sacrifice ideation

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-12 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
[Something's terribly wrong.

He lets Ryou lean into the touch, stroking his face gently with his thumb and the tips of his fingers as he talks. Shh, relax that jaw.
]

Ryou, do you remember what you told me in June, about how this place smashes us up, and we have to put ourselves together again?

You've been hit hard this time. In a way you haven't been hurt before. I promised I'd help put you back together, before the next attack came. We were going to support each other, remember?

[They were. Ryou was there for him, when Atem got caught unexpectedly by a snake-shed. That had helped a lot...that had mattered. But, now, Atem's facing what Yugi's going to have to do, something he dreads so much that he'd take going home at the moment of his own death and never seeing Anzu or Jounouchi or Honda again over forcing Yugi to take someone else's soul, and Ryou's too upset by something else to hear about it. Atem can't talk about how he feels about his own permanent death and whether or not he wants to go through with it, eirher, because Ryou's been hurt so badly that he won't eat. Ryou isn't comforting himself, which means he has to be helped, so that whatever meter drove Javert and Daniel and maybe even Fabius to what they did doesn't run out for Ryou, too.

Atem can keep going a while longer.
]

Please, will you tell me what's on your mind? Whatever it is, I'll understand.
knifemonopoly: (rise up like glitter and gold)

cw self harm discussion

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-12 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
[Ryou's eyes close, and Atem lets some of what he's feeling show on his face. His eyes twitch closed, squeeze shut, and his mouth presses together tightly. It's just for a moment, but -- it hurts to hear it said. Don't you get tired?

He does.

But what can he say, that's going to help...?
]

...I love you, too.

[He kisses the corner of Ryou's mouth.]

And you are comforting. I never feel better than I do when I'm with you. It's the nicest feeling in the world...

...but when you don't take care of yourself, I'm going to worry about you!

[He gets a firmer grip on the side of Ryou's face, brings their foreheads together.]

You're too important to me to lose. I'll solve you if I have to, if that's what it takes -- if you're too hurt to solve yourself, then I'll be there. I saw what happened in your past. I know what happened to you was terrible. But why are those memories making you hurt yourself?

[His mouth's running, a little bit. His control over what will help? is slipping.]

Don't you know that you're a part of my heart? That when you get hurt, it hurts me, too?
knifemonopoly: (slide your feet up the street)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-12 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh, no. Ryou...Ryou sure has a particularly bad reaction to death, dosn't he? Atem's been through it so many times that all it takes for him to bounce back is, apparently, one person being there and being kind to him through it.

But what Ryou says after that, it...

...it helps, a little bit? It helps that Ryou does want to do this himself, that Atem isn't his keeper.

Trying to be...has been hard.

There's a slight relaxing, in the muscles of Atem's back, under Ryou's claws. Arms wrap around Ryou's shoulders, too, holding him back.
]

It's okay...it's okay, to fight. Even people who care about each other a lot...fight, sometimes. Especially if they're hurting.

Fighting doesn't mean I don't love you, or won't forgive you. I don't want to be hurt, and I don't want to hurt you, too. But...I warned you when this started, didn't I? That I wasn't sure I'd be good at this. That we might hurt each other. That I might not be perfect.

[oooooops that control's slipping again. He's tired, he's so tired, and his mouth is moving, and he can't stop it.]

I'm not perfect, Ryou. I lose sometimes. I guess wrong! I'm afraid -- I'm afraid of letting down the people who matter most, and I keep--! [He keeps not being able to protect them. Admitting this -- admitting fears -- probably wouldn't have happened if it weren't for the monster last month.] I'm afraid that if I don't help you...you'll...you'll just hurt, and it won't get better, and you'll either escape into a dream, or you'll despair, like other monsters despair, and do something desperate because you can't stand it here and end up in the prison!

[The thing is...he doesn't want to not have faith in Ryou, but he's also worried. October's going to be hard. Can Ryou...can Ryou do this on his own, and be thinking straight in time for the October fog, and what comes with it?

He holds Ryou tighter.
]

I need you. I need you to solve this. I don't think starving yourself until you don't eat anymore is the answer, but I can't fix it for you. All I can do is tell you what I think, and...and hope it's right.
knifemonopoly: (they got the money on a bet)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-12 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
[Atem moves back, understanding what's being asked with that pressure. He moves off of Ryou, still staying by his side but not lying back down -- he'll hold himself up with an arm, or sit up completely, matching whatever Ryou does.]

Show me.

[What's he going to do? Is it going to make things worse? No -- I have to trust him.

Atem's extending trust, choosing to have faith -- even when it isn't easy. He does trust the people he loves, unlucky or not. He's watching.
]
knifemonopoly: (I keep him forever)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-12 11:02 am (UTC)(link)
[He does follow, his feet quiet on the floor, socks muffling his steps.

A hand slips into one of Ryou's from behind, offering support with a light squeeze.
]
knifemonopoly: (they sing and dance oh ey oh)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-12 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[He saw that it was painful -- he's worried a moment that it's more than just the flavor, what if it's already too late, and Ryou can never eat again...!

But it seems to be okay, after a minute. Around cookie two is when Atem hops up on the counter to sit, to be closer to eye-level. He'll stay in contact with Ryou, a hand on his shoulder or upper arm, just because...

...because, while Atem could be beating himself up for having missed this, instead, he feels relief that Ryou's over this grief hurdle. Just because you died is no reason to act like you're dead.
]

Is it all right?

[--he says, as he pets his boyfriend while he eats sweets.]
knifemonopoly: (bend your back shift your arm)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-13 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
[Atem's...not positive if this sudden swell of emotion is good or bad, if it's happiness or sadness, if it's love or guilt. Not yet. But either way, his response is the same: he tilts his head in, pressing his cheek to the top of Ryou's head, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and taking a deep breath. The other hand pets Ryou's hair, slowly and gently, a little like he handles Ryou's fog form.]

...want to spend the night together later? When we wake up.

[It's true he's got things to do. He's working on a trap for the person he's picked, for Yugi. Marik's working with him. But....

...that can wait 24 hours. It'd be nice to...take a little bit of a break. While, you know, he can...before he has to do to Yugi what he's going to do, before Yugi's hunger gets unbearable, before October's fog. As soon as the fog hits, they'll be in a crisis, and once it's over, who knows what kind of recovery, what kind of care, they'll both need...now might be the time, for that date he promised.
]
knifemonopoly: (they're hanging out in the donut shop)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-13 12:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[When Ryou looks up, Atem takes the side of his face in his hand. They're talking with their faces very close together; Atem's murmuring what he's got to say. He can smell sugar and jam, which...honestly, on top of being a relief, is something he finds cute.]

I promised you a date, didn't I? We could go to the arcade, it closes at night but Souda would probably let us in if I asked...or, we could go to the graveyard. I'll bring cards if you bring dice.
knifemonopoly: (don't remember what you're asking for)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-13 06:17 pm (UTC)(link)
What Souda wanted most was word-of-mouth advertising, anyway. The best way to thank him is to mention his name if someone needs a mechanic...

[Sorry, Atem's trying to explain this, but he's a little distracted, and slows down near the end of that sentence. Excuse him, sir, you have cookie crumbs on your face, and it's dumb and it's charming and what on earth is he supposed to do with this?]

You're terribly cute, you know.

[He brushes his thumb over the corner of Ryou's mouth, then leans in to plant a light, shallow kiss. Atem coughed canal water out of his lungs once, he's not afraid of cookie breath.]
Edited 2021-10-13 18:38 (UTC)
knifemonopoly: (they spin the clubs cruise down the bloc)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-13 10:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I say it because I mean it! I wouldn't lie.

[The hair around Ryou's face gets stroked again. He's not going to let their faces be too far apart. If he can get a forehead press in, great.]

You're my wildcard, remember? When I have you, I can win, even when the normal rules say I shouldn't.

[Being trapped in Ryslig? Terrible. The relationships he's formed? Those have made him incredibly happy.]
knifemonopoly: (foreign types with the hookah pipes)

1/2

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-14 01:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[Not incapable, strictly. He just hates it, it's wrong, he always feels guilty. Even introducing himself with Yugi's name...

...but that's over.
]

Yes!

[He feels no shame whatsoever about the card game metaphors. Is he supposed to? If so, Atem hasn't heard anything about it. He's going to use them to hopefully communicate that Ryou taking care of himself helps the people around him -- do you know how many people it would hurt if you didn't take care of yourself? he recalls clearly -- and also nuzzle his face. Good, good good good.]
knifemonopoly: (do you hold their lives from a string)

2/2 cw paranoia, but like, the dumb kind

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-14 01:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[....

Ryou will feel this more than hear it, since he's got a loose arm around Atem's waist, but as Atem takes a contented breath, his chest starts to buzz.

??

???

Atem definitely stiffens, straightens up a little. What is that? Is he dying?

It stops the moment he starts to worry about all the bad things vibration in his chest might mean.
]
knifemonopoly: (no one has to know)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly 2021-10-14 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah...

Nothing, I guess...

[He still feels okay. Atem presses a hand to his chest. It's perfectly still. Unnaturally so, even...]

I felt strange for a moment, but...now it's gone.

I hope it won't turn out to be something bad later...

(no subject)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly - 2021-10-14 17:48 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly - 2021-10-14 19:59 (UTC) - Expand

nsfw discussion

[personal profile] knifemonopoly - 2021-10-15 13:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly - 2021-10-16 21:08 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly - 2021-10-17 17:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] knifemonopoly - 2021-10-17 23:18 (UTC) - Expand