Ryou Bakura (
softspokenlandlord) wrote2020-11-18 01:10 am
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ryslig
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, WhiteWizard. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 007.80.751.19 *** WhiteWizard has joined 007.80.751.19 <WhiteWizard> Hello, this is Ryou Bakura! <WhiteWizard> Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything. :) <WhiteWizard> I will get back to you as soon as possible. | ||||
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[He feels bad saying that. He feels bad that...for any reason at all, he might compare Atem to the dream.]
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't realize sooner. Instead I made you feel like you were secondary to a dream. I looked for options to sort out how I felt that wouldn't interfere with everything that you needed to do to try and...win the game.
But you have to know...the worst nightmare I could ever have night to night, one of the ones that woke me up terrified, was...the one where I'd try to be close to you, and you'd reject me so thoroughly that I'd need to leave. I would wake up afraid I wasn't in this apartment anymore, Atem. I wanted you to want me. But since that wasn't possible, the dreams...they didn't get better...
[He'd wake up thinking that his attraction had ruined even their friendship. Many more times he would dream of harming his friends, but anything where he harmed Atem always had him bolting upright, because it was so deeply harrowing to think that the past few months were undone by his stupid little crush.
He looks at the snakes, anything to keep his visual focus just slightly off of Atem's face, because admitting what he had was both hard, and something else he'd need to apologize for. Even his real dreams were unfortunate for Atem. But now that he'd let it out, it brings into attention how long he's dealt with it. He was just so lucky that his glowing eyes didn't really make it easy to see how sunken they'd become, but the tired circles were always there. They'd been there for a long time.
It was no surprise he'd fallen into the rift.]
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....
[This is distressing to see and even more distressing to hear. Oh, no. No, no no...all of that was going on in the room next to his, and he didn't even know? How could he have missed that? He was so wrapped up in everything else that was happening, both in Ryslig and inside his own heart, to spot something he really shouldn't have overlooked...!
Hands. Hands are going on shoulders, right now. Glowing eyes, they're getting looked into, hard.]
Ryou, even if I didn't feel the same, I would never make you leave this apartment. I'd want to keep living with you, as long as it wasn't too hard for you, and I'd do everything I could not to be unkind. I don't stop being friends with someone just because they like me!
[Anzu. He didn't want to date her, for a lot of reasons...but she'd never stop being a treasured friend.
But...Atem thinks that caring about someone isn't a bad thing. It'd be a different matter if Ryou used the proximity to take advantage where it wasn't welcome, but, like, have you met Ryou Bakura? Come on.]
Your nightmares were wrong! Wrong about everything.
[...and Ryou's getting pulled into a hug. It might pull uncomfortably at some of Ryou's injuries, even though Atem's doing his best not to disturb them, but this hug needs to happen.]
I really am no good at this...but I'll do better now. I promise!
[Because romance with him really has been awful for Ryou up to today. At this point, it's starting to sound like it can only get better from here. Atem was an idiot to think talking about it would make it worse.]
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His arm wraps loosely around Atem, fingers weakly pressed to his side. Ryou buries his face into Atem's shoulder, for several long moments, before he turns his head and murmurs something quietly.]
You're not bad at it. you just...didn't know. I didn't tell you.
[His fingers grip more tightly, even though it hurts.]
But you're holding me. Th-that's enough. You make me feel...safe.
[And he means it. He really does. For all his diminutive stature most of the time, and even now as a relatively small naga...Atem is like a bastion. A fortress.]
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But maybe that's not the point here. Even if you can't really be safe, feeling safe is important for things like sleeping, like going to a beach with friends, like having a home to come back to. You can't be on, watching for danger from any corner, every second of every day. Even if it's a lie, being able to feel safe sometimes is important. He's...he's got to let Ryou have that. Protect that, for him, even if Ryou gets hurt sometimes.
(And, in the meantime, strengthen his own position. He'll find a way to do it, without compromising his principles...he'll kill in public, in a way that sends a message, but that protects his friends...If you can cheat, I can, too!)
Atem's arms tighten, like Ryou's did.
The horrible truth is that this could have been worse. He's furious, red-hot mad every time he's reminded that it happened at all, but at least Ryou is here. At least he's alive, he didn't take a death, he is handling the added injuries so well it's actually a bit concerning (it's got to be because Ryou's spent so much of his time injured that he's much, much too used to it, and doesn't see the point of waiting to kiss until he's feeling better, which, fucked up, Atem just wants to talk).
Ryou's breathing, he hasn't lost his mind, he's not lost his memories. He's not gone.]
I'm glad I can. I'm glad I didn't lose my chance...
[He pulls back, far enough to look at Ryou, get one hand back on Ryou's cheek, letting the other rest across Ryou's waist at his hip.
Atem's so glad Ryou wasn't killed, so glad it makes his heart hurt.
(this hurt will be repaid, he swears it, paid for in agony and blood.)
He moves in again, and he's going to kiss those feelings out, until thinking about it hurts less. The snakes aren't exploring comfortably, not like before -- they press themselves to Ryou's face and hair, wherever they can reach. Nothing like Ryslig to make you grateful for the little things, like "at least the torture wasn't fatal this time." Atem's own fingers trace Ryou's cheek, under his eye. Some of the snakes are hissing again, but not the ones in close.]
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Ryou desperately doesn't want it to end.]
You'd have to try harder than that to lose any chance.
[That's all he says, with a soft smile curving the corners of his lips as he looks on at Atem with probably a pathetic amount of adoration. This is dumb. He's dumb. But it's okay to be dumb if you like someone, he's come to realize.
His eyes slip closed as Atem's lips meet his once more, and this time the sound he makes isn't really a happy little hum. It's...something lower, something more satisfied. He's not going to push anything further, he's happy to exist in this liminal space between finally admitting feelings and actually attempting to control any part of this.
Then again...Ryou was never much for controlling anything besides his own tabletop games.
So he lets Atem have his opportunity to explore the kiss. To explore him, but only if he wants. After all, he'd made out with the dream version pretty thoroughly on his living room floor until they were basically tangled in each other and there wasn't anything else to think about. Why shouldn't the real version be granted the same courtesy?
...Not that he expects Atem to do anything very overt. The kiss is just...nice, really.]
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Atem's kissing Ryou like Ryou is the most precious thing in the world, with the drive of someone who'll fight to keep it from being taken away. It's careful, and it's gentle, but Ryou is held like you'd hold an animal you thought you'd lost, but found again -- you love them too much to squeeze them too tight, but keeping hands off them is hard too, and you never want to let them go, ever, because you're angry and frightened and glad.
And then Ryou makes that lower sound, and something inside Atem's chest, then down closer to his stomach, turns molten. He's not sure what he's going to do about that, besides take a breath in through his nose, and feel the mania carrying him get redirected, like a diverted river. His snakes quiet again, but they don't go still; Atem deepens the kiss (a clawed hand slides up to the back of Ryou's head, a thin forked tongue slips past his lips) as nearly a dozen little heads caress Ryou's face with theirs. Small snake-chins bump against Ryou's cheeks and forehead and ears (though not into them), even pushing their way into his hair, where it's warmest.
Yeah, that's, ah, that's not a sound that anyone Atem's dated has made for him. Looks like dating won't immediately make everything weird? Well, weirder than a bunch of snakes deciding to hide in Ryou's hair, at least.]
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But this...this is what's keeping him here. What's diverting all of the negative things. It's Atem's lips, his tongue, his adorable little hairsnakes pressing against Ryou's face, and he's melting, too warm, every part of him is tingling.
He hasn't said it, he still isn't sure if it's right to say it but in this moment, he really does love Atem. It's unequivocal. And when the snakes start to bury themselves in his hair, gently tugging at the strands, he shivers a little, because it's a pleasant feeling on top of all the rest of them.
Please, nothing ever interrupt this. Let him live...]
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It's not loud from in here, but it's sharp and businesslike and cuts through the air, carrying even into the bedrooms. There's a moment of hesitation, as Atem decides if he wants to move, but a second knock knock knock! presses the issue.
Atem's tongue retreats, his grip loosens, the kiss breaks with a quiet little sound, and he straightens up, listening. His snakes turn toward the door. Ryou is beloved but also Ryou needs help, and this is a necessary step that needs to be taken before any more kissing, Ryou being unnaturally used to wounds or not.]
That might be the doctor...
[There's a little bit of color high in his cheeks, but it's a flush from the kiss, not any particular embarrassment. He doesn't feel at all like he's been caught doing something he isn't supposed to do. Atem stands by all of his choices today. The hand around the back of Ryou's head has gone down to his shoulder, but the one on his hip is definitely still resting there, even as Atem's shoulders turn to follow his snakes. He'd better get that.]
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He thought it, he had to fucking think it and now the kiss is over and Ryou lets out a soft whine of annoyance because...because he was enjoying that! But then...Atem's right. He's always right, and as soon as the word doctor leaves his lips, Ryou finally lets his fingers uncurl from around Atem's side and oh, owwwww, yeah.
Yeah he needs a doctor. As he pulls away reluctantly, still pouting in frustration, he remembers why he'd struggled in the first place. The medicine had dulled the edge, of course, but the sustained gripping motion has his arm burning pretty badly. It's like an itch, but he knows if he scratches it he'll probably bring himself to tears.
...And then there's the leg. No, he's not moving that.]
F...fine, it's...yes. Y-you should get the door.
[Ughhhh everything hurts and his heart wants what it wants but he he can't have it yet, so whatever Atem decides, he's going to get a good look at a pouting shade with a blush all the way up to his ears. Sheesh.]
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He pushes his body off the bed, bringing his whole self up, but...before he goes, he leans back in, in a big snakelike arc, and takes Ryou's chin to turn his face to Atem's, and plants a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Atem can't make it better with justice, not yet, but he can offer reassurance and care.
Three or four tiny tongues flick over Ryou, too. One of them snifflicks the bridge of Ryou's nose. Sssssh.]
I'll be back.
[And he lets go and slithers out.]
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Ryou blinks once when Atem turns his face...then relaxes just a bit when he's kissed at the corner of his mouth. Atem would probably feel it too, just a half-second before he pulls away, when Ryou starts to smile. It's a vague shadow of one, at least up until some of the snakes join in and then he can't help himself--the smile becomes dopey and contented when their little tongues tickle at his face. Ryou please, there's something to be said of rose-tinted glasses here.]
H-heh heh...'kay.
[He'll be patient. But just for you, Atem. He also won't be moving much because uhh when Atem isn't there, the world reminds him everything hurts.]
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She also knows the other Hawkeye frowns on feeding inside the apartments. So, though there's a salt-and-silver handgun tucked into a holster under her coat and over her scrubs, she doesn't anticipate that she'll have to use it. At least, not after she arrives.
Ryou will hear a quiet conversation in the living room -- thank you for coming, a woman's voice expressing surprise, something about temporary, and he's in here.
A woman with a doctor's bag and graying brown hair pulled into a tight bun steps inside this nerdy, nerdy room, followed by Atem, who has the presence of mind to stay back. Eyes like ice chips take in the shade, his current state, and the exposed injuries.]
"It's good you called me right away! Let's have a look at you. Where else are you hurt?"
[The doctor's bag is set on the bed, and a pair of gleaming scissors gets pulled out. RIP to your pants, Ryou, she'll be cutting the fabric out of the way unless something's said real quick.]
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It's almost night and day, how he's behaving now compared to how he'd just been behaving, but that's to be expected. When he answers her question, it's quiet, but direct.]
My left fo--erm. Ankle. It was burned pretty badly too. The underside of my right foot too, but it's very superficial. It d-doesn't really hurt much. And there's, um. My arm and hand.
[Which he sets on his uninjured leg, turned upward for inspection. She might wonder how a shade let himself get so hurt. It's embarrassing. He's embarrassed that his solid form had been taken advantage of at all.
Ryou's eyes remain focused on her, for the most part. Again, it's very useful that as long as he keeps his head facing the right way, his actual gaze can shift without him giving it away, flickering towards Atem from time to time.]
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"Are they all thermal burns? Are any of them chemical?"
[Maybe Atem shouldn't be in the room for this. Maybe it's a bad idea for him to look directly at burn injuries to feet, where he can smell burned skin when he inhales. Maybe that would occur to him, if he were someone else, someone good at caring for himself at all, but it doesn't, and he stays, leaned against the wall, arms folded.
It's not so bad this time, actually. The smell of antibiotics and ointment and sterile gauze overpowers the burnt-flesh smell before long, and there's also the fact that...Ryou's burns are being treated. He's not dying and coming back with them already scarred over. He's not by himself. That's already different from what Atem experienced...
His snakes don't go still and distant. He's present, not lost in his own memories. Atem's about as okay as he can be.]
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[Even though she's being as gentle as possible, Ryou still can't stop himself from making a pained sound. There's no helping it, he needed the wounds cleaned but having anything at all touch his most severe burns is almost more than he can bear.
He closes his eyes, trying to even out his breathing as the nurse works. Soon...soon it'll be over.
And once it is...Ryou can be alone with Atem once more. Just...a little longer. Just a bit more to endure...
His fingers twitch and he winces, not because of the pain, but because suddenly, he feels...heavy. Tired. A little dizzy. Maybe he'd been too distracted by confessing his feelings after all, and kissing Atem. He wonders if he'll even have the presence of mind to do anything like that again, or...if Atem would even want to.
He wants to. But...perhaps his exhaustion's catching up with him.]
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[She'll get some anesthetic in there, clean 'em up, hit them with ointment, and cover them in gauze bandages, carefully bound down outside the edges of the burned area -- the ankle, the foot, the leg, and the hand and arm. Her manner the whole time is brisk, but not unkind; she's all business, but she's seen worse than this, and even if her tone isn't gentle, her touch is careful.
She'll also check on his medication regimen -- she checked his chart before he left and knew he was on painkillers, and is also keeping an eye out for them being over-used...but it seems okay, so she'll leave more, and note where it went at the clinic. A tub of burn cream is placed by Ryou's bedside, too.]
"Those will need to be changed every three days. Don't leave it later than five. Don't break your blisters, and don't let it get infected. You call the clinic if it does, you understand?"
[She places her hands on her hips, surveying her work, then picks up her doctor's bag. Ryou may or may not spot the gun! He may be too medicated to remember.
Atem's still doing a solid "okay." He'd hold Ryou's hand through this if he could, but since it needs to be treated...he'll settle for being present. When Ryou flinches, it isn't easy for him...but the snakes are only hissing a little. He doesn't want them to interrupt, and being present for Ryou means not getting lost in revenge fantasies. He's here.]
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I'll do my best to keep up with it.
[He's tired, he doesn't seem to notice the gun, and his words are just as heavy as he feels right now. But on the plus side, the burns aren't hurting half as bad. Maybe it's the fact that they're covered, or perhaps the anesthetic is just doing a great job.]
Thank you for doing this. I truly appreciate your help.
[Said sincerely of course. Tired, medicated, whatever. He appreciates her.
And he definitely appreciates her leaving the burn cream and additional painkillers. It's a lot of upkeep, but better than not having it.
Tiredly, he looks toward Atem, whose hair is definitely hissing...but it's not too terribly loud. Ugh. He must look a true mess with all these bandages, and with destroyed pants, at that.
He hasn't fully processed that yet. Once the nurse leaves, he might. But for now he's just hoping that his bandages aren't stressing Atem out.]
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I'll see you out. We do appreciate it, Nurse Olsson.
[As they leave the room, they continue to talk--]
Are you sure you don't want me to walk you back?
"Walk, ha! I've walked home plenty without your help. Fog's clear, it's safe as anywhere else."
If you're certain...
[Goodbyes are exchanged at the door, it opens and shuts, and then Atem slithers back into Ryou's room, stopping at Ryou's bedside again, taking in the state of him -- and gauging how awake he is. Quietly:]
Is there anything else you need?
[You know, while he's up, before he goes through the whole process of getting his entire self into bed.]
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He looks up quickly when Atem reenters. Now that they're alone again, he's relieved. Still tired, but...better. The treatment he'd received, however brief, had been effective in relieving his pain, and the bandages had been wrapped in a way that didn't impede his finger movements. Even though he's at least 25% mummy at this point, it's fine. He's good.
...So he answers the question Atem poses with as much honesty as he can.]
Just you.
[That is...embarrassing! Wow!]
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Wow, that's direct...Atem doesn't think Ryou's coming on to him or anything, it's just bold enough to catch him by surprise!
Then, his expression relaxes into a smile. At least it's a wish he can grant.]
Heh! It's a good thing I was planning to stay, then. Unless you just mean you want my help lying down again!
[He knows perfectly well it's not that.]
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[He says this playfully, but it does take some doing to wriggle himself back down onto the bed in a more comfortable position. This time though, the bandages offer some cushioning, so he doesn't wince except for once, when he stretches his leg out.
He reaches out to brush bandaged fingers against Atem's arm. Unfortunately, he comes short and swings too far inward and his claws tap the Puzzle unwittingly. It makes a metallic ting noise, and he lets out a amused noise. Not altogether an unpleasant sound, but not his intention.]
S-sorry. Just...wanted to feel you.
[That is a very normal thing to say. Coming from a normal person who is absolutely not half-asleep.]
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...and then Ryou takes a swipe at him that's definitely the work of someone medicated. Ryou, please. Atem shakes his head, fondly.]
Hold on just a minute, then.
[--and slithers into bed for...he's lost track of how many times he's ended up here. This bed's warm and familiar, and he's gotten much smoother about getting into it than he was the first time. The puzzle gets hung up on the bedpost like it usually does, and earrings get pulled out and set aside, too. It all takes a very short time, and then, almost immediately, an arm's sliding around Ryou's shoulders, behind his neck and near the pillow. He's made himself terribly at home here over the last couple of weeks, whoops, he's shameless -- but the contact and warmth pulls a contented exhale out of Atem.
His other arm drapes loosely over Ryou's stomach. This kind of position isn't unfamiliar, but...it's a little different, now, isn't it? His heart's going faster than it usually does. Ryou's got medicine in his system to keep him calm, but Atem's going to have to settle down on his own. His snakes are acting particularly friendly, too, reaching out across the pillow with their noses and tongues to express curiosity and interest and affection.]
There. I'm here!
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Ryou's bandaged fingers navigate their way up. Now that Atem's closer, he can comfortably settle his own hand over the smaller teen's fingers. No grip needed. Just...simple contact. He wishes his fingers weren't wrapped, but with the blisters and the roughness from the burns, it's probably a mercy.
Once they're properly settled--Ryou doesn't do much but lay on his back, because it's easier--Ryou turns to look at Atem with a sleepy, serene look on his face that has a very small percentage to do with the painkillers. The snakes aren't bothering him enough to divert his attention of course. They'd have to thpthp in a nostril or ear or eye to be a problem. Right now their explorations are just...cute.]
Thank you...for everything. For calling a doctor, for being here...for l-liking me...
[He'll never be able to say thank you enough. Ever.]
You make everything better.
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But that can wait.
The backs of the clawed fingers of Atem's right hand gently trace Ryou's cheek. Then, entirely unable to stop himself, he leans up so he can press a kiss to Ryou's temple. Good. Ryou is good.
The snakes don't go up his nose, thankfully. They just want to sniff him, make sure he's okay, and slither some of their bodies next to him. Some go in his hair. One tucks itself underneath a pointy ear, but it doesn't flick its tongue, just behaves like it's asleep.]
Actually...there's something I wanted to ask.
...
Marik was extremely insistent that I talk to you about this. Do you have any idea why? It struck me as strange, how fixated he was...
[The snakes don't make upset noises over this. Atem isn't upset, just confused -- and a little suspicious.]
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Man. He's...still kind of boggled that this turned out in his favor. Nothing turns out in Ryou Bakura's favor. And yet...he has Atem here, kissing him gently, touching his face--
--Asking him reasonable questions.
Oof. Ryou was lightly blushing before just from the attention, but now it darkens, and he looks a little self-conscious.]
Ugh...Marik. Uhm...he was being pushy about it the day I went out on my own...I couldn't escape him since I couldn't float. We were sitting on a street bench and he kept insisting that...it would be good for both of us, because I guess you looked at me in some way when I left that whole possession fiasco at the rift? A-Anyway. He wanted to make a bet. He bet he could get you to confess to me in two weeks and if you didn't, he'd quit scheming for a day.
...So to shut him up I told him fine.
But make it three days because him and his plans exhaust me, he wants to defeat the Fog God and he just got here and now he's doing a cult thing with the Ring-Spirit and ughhhhhh...
[Ryou groans in utter annoyance. Yes, he's warming up to Marik very slowly, nooooo he doesn't care for all these machinations.]
So anyway...I'm sorry. I should have just let him keep talking and not fed into it. I'm sure it bothered you. But it was getting embarrassing...
[A beat.]
Shall I write you another coupon? 1 free favor for your roommate being a jerk.
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1/2 what have you done
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