softspokenlandlord | IC Inbox

Then...come on.

[Ryou steps back into his room, which gives him at least a few moments to try and iron out his expression. He's usually only good with the poker face whenever they're playing a game, but he has to look impassive! He can't give away how sad it makes him, seeing Atem's body language. He looks nervous.

...The last time that Atem was anything but his usual self....he said some pretty hurtful things, and Ryou had to square with the fact that he'd failed to take care of Atem in time, before he slid down this kind of path. And he also has to remember that the path meant he'd hurt Ryou too.

It's a delicate balance. Ryou probably can't get the struggle completely clear of his expression by the time Atem enters his Dyster digs.]

[Atem's not expecting this apology to fix everything. Truthfully, he'd accept it if the apology fixed nothing...

...he's still the kind of player who falls into suffering and suffering-inducing traps easily, and he keeps getting got. This is one more, in a long line of mistakes.

But, at least, he didn't end the world. There's that.

He steps inside, but doesn't sit, yet. His hands start out at his sides, but then his arms come up to wrap around his stomach, at the base of his chest. It's not a confident, commanding arm-fold -- it's an unconscious self-soothe. He'll stand, until he's directed to sit, his tail flicking behind him.]

[Ryou intends to allow Atem to settle wherever he likes. The room is moderately sized, but clearly only meant for sleeping. Ryou's most precious belongings are generally the only decorations that exist here, but...clearly he's made a bit more of a home of Dyster the past while. A good third of his room is in here, including the dolls that usually rest on a shelf above his bed, from the dollhouse. There's paints, of course, and a completed Monster World board stacked neatly in pieces a ways off...but while those things have been here, Atem can probably pinpoint creature comforts.

Whatever's not here is at the Faros Academy. But...the table near the front door is clear, with two chairs. Atem can sit there.

When he doesn't though...Ryou lets out a soft, quiet breath that's not quite a sigh, then moves towards one of the chairs and sits himself.]

You don't have to look like that. Please, Atem. Sit.

...Our proximity doesn't have to be prolonged if you don't like. Or I can sit at the bed.

[Maybe that's not what Atem's concerned about, but Ryou isn't taking chances.]

....

...what on earth do you mean by that?

[His brows furrow, confusion replacing some of the restrained, self-contained dread. He takes a step or two toward the table, but hesitates, because what on earth is Ryou talking about? Their proximity? Their physical proximity? At a table??]

Are you sick...?

I...u-uhm.

[That is not the expected response. Ryou stares up at Atem with wide, confused eyes. What does he mean, is Ryou sick? He'd made his stance clear, hadn't he? That Ryou being who he is...was dangerous to be around.

Right?]

You said...that bad things happen around me, and you made choices that hurt you in service of helping me. Surely...you wouldn't want to be around someone cursed in that kind of way, would you?

[...Right?!]

No -- !

....

No, Ryou, I didn't mean you were cursed, or put the people around you in danger.

[Of course Ryou thought that, of course he misread what Atem said as that, how could he not, with what happened to all his friends in school, because of the Ring-Spirit.....]

I --

-- I felt that you -- get hurt, a lot. And often, things outside of your control put you, just you, at a disadvantage.

[He bites back it's like you're playing on a harder mode than everyone else. Ryou doesn't like the game metaphors.]

Sometimes it's unusual, or unique to you. And it leads to you going through pain. That's...

...that's hard for me watch happen to you. It makes me want to do something about it, no matter the cost, because I -- I care about you. I don't want to lose you, or see you in pain. That's why it's hard. It's hard to do nothing. But, in doing something, in trying everything I could think of, I...I hurt people. A lot of people. Those mistakes are mine. They don't have anything to do with a curse, on you or me or anyone else.

[He steps forward, and takes a seat on the other side of the table.]

I don't think that's the same as a curse. Definitely not a contagious one. I'm... [He isn't meeting Ryou's eyes, as he takes a breath in, then lets it out.] ...sorry, that what I said was too close to that for it not to hurt you that way.

[Atem's words don't really help here...but they don't cause harm, either. With them both calmer than they had been that night, it's easier to parse something a bit less painful out of Atem's words here.

But, it's still not perfect. It still feels wrong. Enough that Ryou frowns, and he watches Atem's expression as if it might tell him more, before speaking.]

It's not easy seeing someone you care about get hurt, that's true. I've seen you be hurt too, maybe you do better than me here, but you must know I've had the shoe on the other foot.

I don't ask for these things to happen to me. Ever. I can't stop them, either. Being in the wrong place, at the wrong time...that's not something I can control.

And I can't control you. I don't want to control you, but the times I've asked for you to hold back...it's only ever hurt you.

[Ryou goes quiet for a long moment, finally glancing down at the table as if he might find some secret code to win this exchange in between the grainlines.]

...Thank you for your apology.

I...care about you, Atem. I just...don't know where else to go from here. I don't know what you really want anymore, just what I want.

S-so...what is it you want from me?

....

I thought....

[...here, Atem sinks down onto his arms on the table, running black-nailed fingers through his hair, desperate for some kind of sensory grounding.

This is where it gets difficult. This is where it's going to be hard to talk about, for the both of them. This is where they'll get upset, and Atem's head might fill with cotton again, and he'll mis-hear, or mis-remember.]

Ryou...Nanami came by, a little while ago, where I was staying, in Hill House.

[His heart rate is already picking up, he can feel it. If Ryou were a vampire, it would be painfully obvious. But he's going to go on. He has to go on. He picks his words as carefully as he can, under the circumstances.]

She said that you did have...your tier 3 Fog power, while you were in Felfri. It wasn't...taken away from you, before you switched sides. That's -- is that true...?

[Atem's heart is going so hard Javert can probably hear it. But he still turns his head to look up at Ryou from down near the table when the question's asked, with red eyes that are searching, asking, trying to find out the truth, between hands buried deep in his already messy hair. He has to stay in the moment, to tell the difference between thoughts in his head and things said aloud, and record the correct memories.

Because this is important.]

The first thing I want i-is to know that.

[Ryou almost, almost reaches a hand out, just out of reflex, to try and comfort Atem. But before he can get too close, he freezes in place, remembers this miserable, terrible month where he'd been discarded, and slowly pulls it back.

Not...not yet. It hurts, but not yet.

He just lets Atem keep talking, and there's a twist of icy discomfort in his belly, because he can tell already, this won't go right. He's afraid that he won't do it right again...that all he can do is screw things up--

No.

No, that's not true. He did good during the haze, didn't he? Once he got saved...he was able to help others! He made a difference...

He has to have faith in who he is, and what he can do, in case that...they really aren't going to fix anything here. He has to be okay.

Except that when Atem asks him about Felfri, and his powers, Ryou feels a chill up his spine, his tail flashing a fearful white for one long second.]

...No, when I was still...with Her, that power was available to me. It just...it...

[Now it's Ryou's turn to wrap his arms around himself, looking anywhere but Atem.]

If it hurt AM, then it didn't hurt him enough. H-he was...l-like a city. What I did, it wasn't enough to make him let me go. Maybe it's...powers he's got.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry if that's not right, Atem. It doesn't mean that the powers weren't important, to me, they've always been important!

[The description of the inside of AM is almost enough to set Atem off again. He has to brush past it, not think about it, tuck it away in a deep dark part of him, and focus on the now, on what needs to be addressed -- on what can be changed. He's breathing fast, which doesn't help the dizziness.]

I thought...!

[Okay. Okay, it is his memories that are wrong. What Ryou's describing...it's closer to what Atem had imagined had happened, that it was there but not enough. Not for that situation.

He doesn't address the last part. Not yet. He's still reeling, from the confirmation, that...]

I thought...you said you didn't. Didn't have them. Couldn't use them. I remember you -- I -- I remember me saying, out loud, that you didn't -- c-confirming it. I don't--

[Breathe breathe breathebreathebreathe, his fingers dig into his hair, hard enough to pull.]

I don't know why -- my memories are wrong. But they -- but they were! That...that's something I didn't know could happen, I -- my memory has always been good, it's never -- never been this wrong, a-about something so important...!

[His head's spinning. He has to get it back under control. But how...?

It is terrifying, that his mind can trick him like this, this badly. There are a lot of things that Atem is scared of, and this is a new one.]

Edited 2022-11-23 05:07 (UTC)

I don't remember you ever...saying...

[Ryou sees Atem's physical response, hears his words, and anything else he can think of is set firmly to the side, but not forgotten.

It's just that Ryou wouldn't be Ryou if he kept ignoring a friend in need, never mind that this isn't just a friend. He doesn't want to think of Atem as just a friend. So. He reaches out with too-long arms, places his hands over Atem's, and holds them, trying to make Atem loosen his grip somehow.]

H-hey, listen! It's just this place, sometimes, we...we get really upset, by the things that happen. Sometimes you hear the wrong thing, like--like me thinking you meant that I was a curse.

If I wasn't so upset, then...I could have been clearer, but that night, we were talking past each other, Atem. And something stuck, and made you feel like you understood something, when you didn't.

...Please, don't hurt yourself over it. Don't.

H-hurt myself....

[Ryou really thinks that's what this is...? A little pulling on his own hair, to keep himself in the present...as though that were even close to his real hurt, as though it even registers on the scale. This is nothing, this is holding on.

He doesn't respond to the hands on his. He doesn't deserve to grip them, instead.]

Ha ha...h-ha ha ha...no, I'm not! Don't worry....

[He's still spinning, but he's doing his best not to spin out, and to stay here, he has to hold on.]

Maybe...maybe you're right. I was upset, and I didn't say what I thought I did, and didn't hear what I thought I did.

[But the memories are so clear.

Is it...?

...no, he can't wonder about games right now. No game terms He's got to deal with the electric-chemical meat of his brain and spine, and how it's become unreliable.]

I'm sorry. My [memories were] understanding was...wrong. I thought I could trust my own mind, but...I know better, now, I know it's fallible. I'll -- [A gulp of air. Get the words out.] -- I'll try to make sure...my sense of what's real, and my m-memories of what's said, are...a-accurate...before I panic, over something like this, again.

[Learn. Adjust strategy to account for new information. Don't make the same mistake twice.]

I'm sorry that I panicked, and r-reacted so badly. The idea was...a terrible thing to face.

[He'll only explain why, if Ryou wants to know. But he's not here to explain, he's here to apologize for hurt.]

In trying to come to terms with it, and wh-what it meant, I hurt you. I'm sorry. It was wrong. I was wrong.

[Ryou's entire body feels like it's been drawn tight, like a bowstring that's been held too long in place, til it hurts and it feels like the string might not be strong enough to withstand the pressure.

His sympathy is part of it, what holds the string taut from the bottom.

His self-preservation is tugging from the top, reminding him of how easy it had been, for Atem to decide the relationship was not worth keeping, and to tell Ryou that he would only suffer here, in the haze, and be unable to save himself.

It's hard to listen to Atem admitting he was wrong...but also, helpful, in its own way. Ryou's just too mixed up to tell what's best, so he closes his eyes, doesn't move his hands...and lets Atem explain.

It's too long, perhaps, that Ryou sits there, lost in his own thoughts, before he finally thinks to say anything.]

I understand...that it was frightening. I get that panic cannot be controlled. If it could, then...I would have found the right words then.

...You did hurt me. You...didn't have faith in me, and told me I was going to suffer no matter what I did.

[It sounds accusatory, and yet...Ryou isn't pulling away.]

But I won't give up. Not on me, or you. I care that you were hurt. I'll always care that you were hurt, so...if you want to talk about it, or try to find out how we can make it better, we can. But if you don't, we don't have to either.

I doubt if any of this is making any sense, but...just know that I can't turn from you. I love you.

[There's still a lot of darkness inside Atem, swirling around his heart and mind.

He's had two weeks now to sit with his thoughts, to chew on the ends of plans, to mull things over in the cool underground of Hill House. He still has that image in his mind, burned into it like a brand, of everyone he loves in Ryslig's spider-web, tangled hopelessly in sticky silk, too far for him to reach them but always in sight, always where he can see them writhe and scream, from where he is, in the same plight.

He still thinks of how much easier it would be, if he can't cut them free, to hold a match to the nearest strand and let it all go up in smoke, web and friends together. It would be so much better, to make the screaming stop, to bring it all to an end.

...

...

...but...

...that's not the only way forward, anymore. Not now, not with this information.

Though his heart tells him, it's false hope, you know it is, you know it'll be the same as the other times, no matter what he says his luck is bad, and you can't hope, you'll only be hurt, you know what the Mana coins are for, run or accept hurt and hurt and hurt--

...there are other voices, others who have spoken to him, tried fruitlessly to help him with words that seem like the wrong approach, like willfully closing his eyes to the truth and opening himself up to avenues of hurt that he didn't have to open.

He doesn't have to let the suffering of others, suffering he can't stop, hurt him. But he doesn't have to destroy everything, either.

Atem's mouth presses shut, in a thin line. Ryou's powers weren't taken after all. Can he hope...? Can he hope that a mechanism designed to make them suffer, will play fair?

He can't.

The house will always win.

In the face of that, does he still want to play...? Can he trust that Ryou will remain in the game, like he promises he will -- I won't give up, he says.

Atem brings his arms around, to cover his eyes, to hold his head.]

Can't you...? It might be better if you did. I make bad decisions. My calls are wrong more often than they're right. I act like I can make a difference in the lives of the people closest to me, but those actions only cause pain and suffering and widespread hurt. I'm capable of terrible things...and, I'm a foolish person, who doesn't understand that I've got it wrong until the cost is already paid.

[It might be better if everything ended. Atem doesn't deserve to live, and everyone else deserves the release of death.

...but, there are monsters who have made lives here, who don't suffer the way he does, the way Ryou does. It's...it's not right, to take away their homes, imperfect as they are, as a trade for the mercy of oblivion.

But Atem still deserves to pay the price for his actions. If that's Ryou realizing that he's an unstable murderer who, it turns out, under the confidence that's fooled everyone, including himself really, really sucks, then that's only right.]

Are you sure...that you want to let me try again? If my record is anything to go by...I'll only get it wrong again.

[Ryou simply shakes his head, a slow but firm motion. Atem's wrong now, and he might be wrong in a way that's forgivable, but it's still not right.

Ryou will have to liberate him of that idea, won't he? Of several, in fact. His hands finally draw away, but not because he intends to leave Atem to think about things, way harder than they need to be thought of. No, instead, he gives Atem space to move freely.]

You know...there's something that has been told to me by different monsters at this point, and I have taken it to heart, in a way, because it's true.

Despite us categorically being changed into monsters...we are still possessed of our human traits. We're still people. We still have humanity in our hearts. I tend to forget that, because after being here for two years...well, it doesn't seem like a lot.

But it is, when you're made to murder and eat people.

[Ryou shifts in his seat, looking down at the table and wishing he could lose himself in the pattern. But that would do them both a great disservice at this point.]

The point is...you're asking me if I should just stop loving you, as if it's the easiest thing in the world. Maybe it would be, for someone else.

[Maybe it would be easier for Atem, than it is for Ryou, who is a deeply lonely person, and one who had been told by Atem, perhaps one too many times, that he mattered. Maybe it would be simpler if Ryou wasn't such a kindhearted person, albeit one changed by his situation here in Ryslig.

But despite everything, he remains Ryou Bakura, at his core.]

Every person on this peninsula has made a bad decision in their lives. You have, I have, our friends and enemies have all made mistakes, and a lot of those have caused us pain.

I've forgiven someone who used my body to commit atrocities, and left me scarred. I've forgiven someone who let terrible things happen to the person I love the most, just because they didn't want to get in the middle of two people they cared about.

[Finally, he reaches out, gently brushing the backs of his clawed fingers along Atem's cheek, if its exposed.]

So then why would I ever care if you made a mistake? It's not fair to expect you to be perfect, in such an untenable place. Furthermore...why is it, Atem, that you think you're any less allowed to make mistakes?

Please...you can't chain yourself to your errors, and never forgive yourself for any of them. That's not fair...you're not here to play a perfect game. You're here to survive.

You're here to live a life, and be you, as best you can. Best doesn't mean perfect.

S-so that's why I'll give you as much of myself as I can, even now, after everything that's happened. You can't choose for me. If you could have, then I wouldn't have invited you in here.

[We have humanity in our hearts. Is that true...? Atem feels less and less human by the day. Maybe it's just how far gone he is, but he isn't sure what point Ryou's making, in the first bit. He listens, though, his eyelids pressed to his forearms, and tries to understand what Ryou is trying to tell him.

Ryou is telling him...that what he's done is forgivable. At least...forgivable by Ryou.

He sinks deeper into his own arms, when he feels the backs of fingers against his cheek. It's not a rejection, but a knee-jerk retreat.

Ryou says, it's not fair to expect you to be perfect. why are you less allowed to make mistakes? you can't chain yourself to your errors. you're here to surive.

best doesn't mean perfect

you can't choose for me.]

I....

[There's so much spinning around in his mind, more than he can stand. His feelings about his mistakes, the harm he's done, being things he can unchain himself from and forgive himself for mingle like potassium and water with his feelings about it wasn't taken away after all, the things I did, they weren't useless, it wasn't just pain I caused for free, it wasn't a trick, I wasn't tricked, and, my mind, my mind tricks me, I can't trust my mind, oh god--

Are they going to be okay...? A-are they -- are they going to get back together, and, will there be a fighting chance, at survival, for them?

He wants there to be. He wants there to be a chance at that. He wants it so badly, and he was so scared he'd never had it, and that he'd played into Ryslig's hands and there was nothing left, and it was as futile as two flies playing house in a spider's web, and he's so bad at this, and being him isn't enough, but it's all he can do, how is he supposed to...?

That's the question that echoes through his mind, unfinished -- or with too many ways it ends.

Ryou might not see it, when it happens. There's not a reply, at first. Atem's face stays covered, and he stays still, except for the rise and fall of his shoulders.

But those shoulders start to rise and fall more erratically, as Atem's breathing grows uneven, and after a few more moments, there's a telltale sniff. The cloth on his arms is catching most of the moisture, it doesn't get to the table, but there's no hiding it after that. He curls in tighter into himself, trembling from the middle of his chest out, and isn't sure if he's crying with grief, relief, or simple overwhelming exhaustion.

It's probably all three.]

Edited 2022-11-25 05:07 (UTC)

[The fact that Atem doesn't even try to argue, scarcely says anything at all...it makes Ryou feel a little more secure that he's doing the right thing, and saying what he needs to.

It gives him the confidence to get to his feet even though Atem had avoided his touch once. It made him wonder, when Atem buried his face further down into his arms, but Ryou's not wondering anymore, especially not when he hears the sound of what he knows is Atem trying to hide his emotion, however poorly.

Ryou quietly moves to Atem's side of the table, behind him. He doesn't hesitate to stoop down and let his head rest against Atem's while one hand gently rests on his back. He doesn't move much, he just asserts his presence there, hoping that the warmth and the weight might be of comfort.]

You'll always be my most treasured person. And you can always lean on me...if you have to. If you would allow me...I would give everything I have to help you, as you've helped me...

[Even if...Atem had hurt him this time. How many times has Ryou hurt him, without meaning to?]

[At first, there's only sounds of quiet, muffled crying, from under the minotaur arms. The touch isn't recoiled from.

But, there's a low, pained moan, as Atem realizes what Ryou is doing -- what's happening.]

Noooooooooo...

[It's unsteady, as unsteady as Atem's next words.]

Nooooo, this is what happens, when we both need help...

...when there's something [With the state of his nose, it sounds like "subthig".] you aren't talking about, so you can help meeeee...

[Another sniff, at the end of that little wail.]

...and you'll be mad about it later.

[Ryou listens and...rather than tighten his grip or try to offer some reassurance, he sighs in frustration.]

Atem, just shut up. Shut up for once in your life, cope with your emotions, and let me help you. This is what it means to be in a relationship. It means...sometimes you have to get through the hard parts for someone you care about.

Me caring about you...doesn't mean we're done talking about this forever.

[And yet, Ryou does allow himself to nose more firmly into Atem's hair. It's a little selfish, but if that's what his whining, accusatory boyfriend has decided to force him into, then so be it.]

Just...stop looking for trouble...

[Atem feels a vague sense, through the whirlpool of feeling he's caught in, of wanting to argue it -- there are things he could say, should say.

He thinks of the time when he came back from the dead -- and Ryou had had his emotions deadened, and wasn't eating. His feelings about his own death, and coming back, had to be put aside -- and he hadn't complained.

But, Ryou had thrown it in his face that he'd put his own death aside and had gone to look for Atem, that he hadn't had a chance to process his own death then, or when Ryou's body had been dehydrated, because Atem's feelings about both incidents had been in the way.

Atem hadn't thought about how Ryou was feeling when he'd dehydrated Ryou's body last September, and coming back had been painful. That had been a mistake.

He'd tried to make up for it, by allowing Ryou the space to feel, in Felfri, and not letting his own emotions interfere. But, now, Ryou's telling him, this is what it means to be in a relationship, as if he knows --

-- as though Ryou won't resent him for it.

He knows he was the one to hurt Ryou, that all of this is his fault, and that he's the one falling to pieces on an evil-alternate-dimension kitchen table. It's not fair, and it's worth resenting, he's slipped completely out of his own control and can't reach it to get it back, yet. But the weight and warmth and nosing into his hair is heartbreakingly comforting, like a warm bath, and it just makes him fold his arms in front of him, press his face into them, and cry harder.

He doesn't want Ryou to resent him, for accepting help. They'll have to talk...they have a lot to talk about. But Atem can't talk now, his throat's closed up, and his voice won't work. He's too upset to talk, so, he does shut up -- he leans, instead, back against Ryou, pressing his side against Ryou's like an animal that's cold, or lonely.]

[Despite his frustrations...Ryou wonders for a moment whether he's been too cruel in saying what he just did. Then, Atem leans back into him and he decides that for the moment, it might just be worth it to not to complicate things on his end either.

So, he tells his own mind to shut the fuck up and holds Atem with a fierceness that reminds him that honestly...they're both fucked up here, but he can't stop loving Atem just because of it.

They'll talk...later. Now, he wants to be of some comfort to his love, and to pretend that there's nothing to talk about.]

[He presses into Ryou's side, and, before he's done, Atem ends up with his face in Ryou's chest, fingers wound in his shirt.

He's got too many feelings, good and bad, and it's going to take his body and brain time to sort through them. Right now, he's a pot that's boiling over -- but, Ryou holding him, means that eventually, he'll slow down, and start gulping for breath, hyperventilating, trying to breathe at a normal rate and failing. He's dizzy, thanks to the overabundance of oxygen in his too-alive bloodstream; he's clinging to Ryou's clothes, his horns pressing against Ryou's shoulder in a way that comforts, the pressure helps, and when he can maybe form a word or two again, he doesn't say, you shouldn't be comforting me, it was my fault.]

We--

[Breathless, short.]

We have -- a-a lot to -- t-talk about--

[he's clearly in no state to do it. But, at least, he seems to want to work on them, instead of closing the door on it as something he can't, or shouldn't, have.]

[As Atem adjusts in his hold, Ryou does the same, running a hand along his back comfortingly. It's the best he can do, to let Atem cry for now. It hurts to see him in such a state, but...Ryou doesn't want to take that emotional response from him.

Though, when Atem finally forces out those words, he does nod gently, and pull away slightly.]

I know. We will...I promise.

[A hand moves up to gently cup the back of Atem's head, threading clawed fingers into his short hair for a moment.]

Talking seems a bit hard now, though. I think the first thing we ought to do is get you cleaned up...right? Then...maybe you can lay down for a little bit. How does that sound?

[Experimentally, Ryou tries to shift back, to pull away so he can maybe sneak away and get a damp cloth to dab Atem's face clean. But, if Atem doesn't let him go, he'll change his plans around.]

[He nods, mutely, accepting that and agreeing to it.

He pulls back enough to get a cloth kerchief out of a pocket -- as useful as a multitool, for crying, spills, injuries -- and will turn away, to start drying his face, and clearing his nose. Ryou can certainly slip off for a warm wet cloth -- it'll be soothing and appreciated, and it'll give him a chance to blow his nose in semi-privacy.]

[Good. At least Atem's being compliant enough there. Ryou does indeed slip away for a few moments, shuffling around in a nook so small it could barely qualify as a kitchen and returning with a cloth of his own, appropriately warmed and damp.

It's easier than it really should be, to go with the flow of it all and clean up Atem's face with a soft touch. Ryou's had time on his own to think...so maybe that's what really matters in this case. Maybe that's why it's easier to fall into taking care of Atem.

Seeking a little less of a serious topic, Ryou awkwardly murmurs a question.]

So, um...how has Tybolt been...?

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, WhiteWizard. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 007.80.751.19 * WhiteWizard has joined 007.80.751.19 <WhiteWizard> Hello, this is Ryou Bakura! <WhiteWizard> Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything. :) <WhiteWizard>** I will get back to you as soon as possible.

IC Inbox | ryslig

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drops some anxiety CWs here, fear of unreliable memory, it could swing into PTSD at any moment

cw anxiety and ptsd here too. shitty memories ahoy

it's anxiety and ptsd all the way down, false/unreliable memories, psychosis/psychotic episode.

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self harm, false memory discussion

this tag has the same energy as changing your relationship status to "it's complicated"

cw apocalypse-suicide ideaton, negative self talk

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cw reference to medical horror

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