Ryou Bakura (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
softspokenlandlord) wrote2020-11-18 01:10 am
softspokenlandlord) wrote2020-11-18 01:10 am
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ryslig
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, WhiteWizard. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 007.80.751.19 *** WhiteWizard has joined 007.80.751.19 <WhiteWizard> Hello, this is Ryou Bakura! <WhiteWizard> Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything. :) <WhiteWizard> I will get back to you as soon as possible. | ||||
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That's probably the least amount of words he's ever heard leave Atem's mouth for any reason. And now Ryou can't help but think that Atem, of all people, is being cute about it. It reminds him that they're both the same--for all the posturing, the self-assuredness, even the whole Nameless Pharaoh thing...they are the same.
They're both teens who scarcely have any idea what they're doing and who very clearly haven't been in any sort of relationship before. That's more comforting than he expected.
When Atem moves in for a second kiss, Ryou is happy to sink into it. He might actually just enjoy the little things...if more little things weren't all on his face now. It's like a dozen little feathers all over his face which would be fine until one of the snakes pokes into his ear.
Ryou snorts unattractively and pulls away when he feels the sensation of a tiny snake tongue intruding where it doesn't belong. His ear flicks up and down, kind of like a cat's, except slower.]
Snghk! [He pulls back a few inches.] H-hey!
[This is going great.]
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...so there's a distinct smell of earwax, which is, not good, to have in your mouth.]
Mmmh!
Sorry --
[Oh no look at Ryou's ear go, that's cute. All the snakes are watching the ear wiggle, like a bunch of kittens all looking at the same waving feather.]
I can't -- I can't stop them. Not without putting them under a hat, or something...
i read that as "snensory" oops
And now...now he's pouting very obviously because he loves these snakes that make up Atem's hair, they look cool and they're adorable.
BUT...]
I'm sure they didn't mean to do that. Right?
[He's looking at you, little boys. They might reflect Atem's emotions, but they have their own behaviors, he's pretty sure they might have a smidgen of understanding to them.]
Maybe they just need a distraction, hm?
[He brings his hand up, pressing the back of it against the snakes as if to corral them backwards. It's a gentle, sweeping motion, like he's just smoothing Atem's hair back. Which...he is? It's just that the hair's alive and bratty.]
W...want to try again?
[He really wants to try again. He's also pretty sure judging by the look on his face that Atem got a taste of his ear, so he feels bad about that. Bad snakes. BAD.
But also please kiss him. Don't ruin this for him little guys.]
do you cw for comphet
So, he doesn't talk about whether his snakes meant to french-kiss the inside of Ryou's ear or not. I've wanted to try again since June also very nearly comes out, but doesn't, because Ryou doesn't know about that. Does he? Was that Ryou's dream he was in, or was Ryou in the other one, with Adam and the Ring-Spirit? Atem's not sure of that anymore. So, instead, he just says--]
Yes.
[A third thing that hits him, as he gets his hand back behind Ryou's neck and leans in, is that this is already very different from how things had been with Riley. Being Riley's boyfriend had seemed like a great idea, until it actually happened. He's being asked want to try again? after something didn't go right, instead of I think the doctor will be here soon, or other awkward and uncomfortable sabotage of chances to be alone together. It's still a little awkward! But Atem's reading interest and hope, instead of anxious uncertainty and guilt...
...and then they're kissing, and he stops really thinking about anything anymore.]
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Ryou notices the way Atem relaxes and files that away for later. Maybe he doesn't have too much longer to get his mileage out of those snakes, but you can bet he's going to try playing with Atem's snair later. They like it, he likes it...it's a win all around.
Ryou wants to say good, because he's definitely going to go in on this, but there's nothing that needs to be said. So he allows the distance to be closed, meets Atem halfway in fact, and they try again. And this time...Ryou really does find himself lost in it. His eyes close slowly and he lets out a contented hum from the back of his throat, his fingers idly playing with the snakes. He doesn't mind if they explore. Here, there's nothing to worry about.
The sting of pain is pushed away, repressed as best as he can to make room for something more important.
Finally...]
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None of it was this. It didn't drive out loneliness like a struck match drives out the dark; it didn't make a vise around his heart that's been there so long he doesn't notice it anymore loosen and ease. Of course it didn't; the only thing like kissing Ryou is kissing Ryou. No other piece fits.
But this, this is it, he thinks with a sigh, sliding his fingers further into Ryou's hair and opening his mouth against the kiss. This is the same, it's what he realized he wanted back then, right down to -- the way Ryou hums, a little --
--huh.
Hang on. That's one of the sounds he's been replaying in his head for nearly two months, now. Is it that the trees somehow knew what Ryou'd sound like? Or...
Atem breaks the kiss and backs up a few inches, looking at Ryou quizzically. The snakes don't loosen their grip, but their tongues flick, tasting the air.]
Ryou...when the trees got you, in June...did you dream about playing Monster World with the Ring-Spirit and Adam?
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And actually...for all the similarities this had to the dream, knowing that it was real, with all of its awkward turns and the struggle leading up to this--even the whole accidental snake tongue in his ear--it made it all the better.
Unfortunately...Atem's pulling away now, and Ryou feels a cold prickle run up his spine. Had he...had he done something wrong after all? Was Atem changing his mind already? Maybe Ryou's just to terrible a kisser...]
...What?
[It takes him a minute, to shift gears. He's still a little flushed, more focused on...well...what they'd just been doing. Why is he asking this now?]
Um. Well, no. I dreamed a few different things, but I never saw the spirit. A-actually though, I...dreamed about visiting Otogi's cafe...seeing Yugi...s-spending time with you...
[Ohhh, it'd be impossible not to notice the darkening of his cheeks. Absolutely impossible.]
I, uh. There were several situations regarding you but...none of them were you as Adam. It was you. We had crepes together in the park at one point, and then you visited me while I was expanding my Monster World board for a campaign. Everyone was supposed to come over for it, but you got there first.
...Why?
[Is this going somewhere?]
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I don't remember the others, but...you tried to talk me out of playing a Diabolist, didn't you?
No -- you succeeded. With a dice roll. And then--
[Color's rising in Atem's face, too.]
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[Oh god oh god oh god oh god--]
That was you.
You weren't a dream. You were real.
[Ryou's not sure how he's feeling about this, at all. All he knows is that he's lightheaded and he doesn't know if it's the meds or if it's the entire situation.]
I kissed you. That was real. It was in the dream but...it was you...? B-but you freed me from the tree, how could that have possibly been you?!
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But you were also in the Ring-Spirit's dream...I thought that had to be the one where you actually were. I thought the other one was...
[...he doesn't finish.]
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[It's a simple question, with a simple answer. One that Ryou finds himself wanting to hear. Was it just him? Did his dream spill over into Atem's experience, or did they...share a similar want?
Was Ryou really that blind? That ridiculously stupid?]
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(It's that bad.)
He's looking away.]
It showed me something I wanted, that I hadn't known I'd wanted before. Of course I thought it was mine! It was hard to imagine I could feel that way in a dream that was meant for someone else.
[If it hadn't been for the trees...how long would it have been before Atem was able to identify that this was what he wanted? Would he have gone on, supporting Ryou as he got over the crush and started seeing someone else? Would he have ended up sleeping in Ryou's room anyway, but without knowing his own feelings?
He hates the trees for how hard they were for Ryou to recover from, but...he might owe Larry one, here.]
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...Instead, he softly dislodges his fingers from the general tangle, then combs his fingers through them again. Kind of...like petting the snakes. Or more appropriately, stroking Atem's hair fondly.]
Maybe that's a little bit my fault. While I was in the tree, my happy dream was...dating you. When you came over, I...naturally assumed that you were part of the dream, which was why I was so familiar with you.
[He uses the underside of his thumb to scratch the chin of one of the lighter colored snakes.]
I felt happy there, being near you and sharing my hobbies with you. I was content spending the whole day forgetting about the campaign...and just k-kissing you.
[Now it's his turn to be embarrassed. He disentangles himself from the snakes, pulling his hand back and holding it to his chest awkwardly. The movement reminds him that he should be resting because it stings, but...at least the pain isn't so bad. The medicine is, blessedly, starting to help.
...Maybe it's affecting how earnest he's being? Ryou doesn't think so. If Atem was big enough to bring the dream up and admit that it was, in fact, something he wanted, even if he hadn't known it...then Ryou could be honest too.]
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The one that gets its chin scritched gives Ryou a truly dopey, hopeless look. All the others look doe-eyed, too. They're not jealous, they are all one, but they really, really like him.
Atem's own eyes lose a little focus again. He's listening, though -- and, when Ryou stops flirting with the hairsnakes, he comes back to himself more. Right. All day...that doesn't add up, though. The snakes huddle thoughtfully.]
The whole day...that doesn't quite match with what I remember. I...I told you I had to leave. I wanted to see my other friends, and make sure they were all right. But if I didn't go then, I wouldn't have been able to tear myself away at all!
...
[A beat. The snakes turn back to Ryou, and even though Atem's voice is dry, their little faces are full of snincerity.]
I really thought I'd stop thinking about it.
[But he hasn't! For two months! He remembers it clearly enough to recognize how Ryou kisses! His snakes un-huddle; they're giving pining looks again. Hey, remember what the end of June was like? Where they were trapped in an apartment together for three-quarters of the day, but the easy rapport they had at the beginning of June wasn't there anymore, and Atem was going stir-crazy and had to get out of the house sometimes? And the beginning of July, when Atem thought Ryou was trying to disappear into a dream world and leave him behind, and right after they cleared that up, Atem found something to do he thought Ryou would have fun with? The crush just got worse!
🐍 Ryouuuuu 🐍 don't be sad 🐍 don't leave! 🐍 ]
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[He feels bad saying that. He feels bad that...for any reason at all, he might compare Atem to the dream.]
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't realize sooner. Instead I made you feel like you were secondary to a dream. I looked for options to sort out how I felt that wouldn't interfere with everything that you needed to do to try and...win the game.
But you have to know...the worst nightmare I could ever have night to night, one of the ones that woke me up terrified, was...the one where I'd try to be close to you, and you'd reject me so thoroughly that I'd need to leave. I would wake up afraid I wasn't in this apartment anymore, Atem. I wanted you to want me. But since that wasn't possible, the dreams...they didn't get better...
[He'd wake up thinking that his attraction had ruined even their friendship. Many more times he would dream of harming his friends, but anything where he harmed Atem always had him bolting upright, because it was so deeply harrowing to think that the past few months were undone by his stupid little crush.
He looks at the snakes, anything to keep his visual focus just slightly off of Atem's face, because admitting what he had was both hard, and something else he'd need to apologize for. Even his real dreams were unfortunate for Atem. But now that he'd let it out, it brings into attention how long he's dealt with it. He was just so lucky that his glowing eyes didn't really make it easy to see how sunken they'd become, but the tired circles were always there. They'd been there for a long time.
It was no surprise he'd fallen into the rift.]
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....
[This is distressing to see and even more distressing to hear. Oh, no. No, no no...all of that was going on in the room next to his, and he didn't even know? How could he have missed that? He was so wrapped up in everything else that was happening, both in Ryslig and inside his own heart, to spot something he really shouldn't have overlooked...!
Hands. Hands are going on shoulders, right now. Glowing eyes, they're getting looked into, hard.]
Ryou, even if I didn't feel the same, I would never make you leave this apartment. I'd want to keep living with you, as long as it wasn't too hard for you, and I'd do everything I could not to be unkind. I don't stop being friends with someone just because they like me!
[Anzu. He didn't want to date her, for a lot of reasons...but she'd never stop being a treasured friend.
But...Atem thinks that caring about someone isn't a bad thing. It'd be a different matter if Ryou used the proximity to take advantage where it wasn't welcome, but, like, have you met Ryou Bakura? Come on.]
Your nightmares were wrong! Wrong about everything.
[...and Ryou's getting pulled into a hug. It might pull uncomfortably at some of Ryou's injuries, even though Atem's doing his best not to disturb them, but this hug needs to happen.]
I really am no good at this...but I'll do better now. I promise!
[Because romance with him really has been awful for Ryou up to today. At this point, it's starting to sound like it can only get better from here. Atem was an idiot to think talking about it would make it worse.]
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His arm wraps loosely around Atem, fingers weakly pressed to his side. Ryou buries his face into Atem's shoulder, for several long moments, before he turns his head and murmurs something quietly.]
You're not bad at it. you just...didn't know. I didn't tell you.
[His fingers grip more tightly, even though it hurts.]
But you're holding me. Th-that's enough. You make me feel...safe.
[And he means it. He really does. For all his diminutive stature most of the time, and even now as a relatively small naga...Atem is like a bastion. A fortress.]
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But maybe that's not the point here. Even if you can't really be safe, feeling safe is important for things like sleeping, like going to a beach with friends, like having a home to come back to. You can't be on, watching for danger from any corner, every second of every day. Even if it's a lie, being able to feel safe sometimes is important. He's...he's got to let Ryou have that. Protect that, for him, even if Ryou gets hurt sometimes.
(And, in the meantime, strengthen his own position. He'll find a way to do it, without compromising his principles...he'll kill in public, in a way that sends a message, but that protects his friends...If you can cheat, I can, too!)
Atem's arms tighten, like Ryou's did.
The horrible truth is that this could have been worse. He's furious, red-hot mad every time he's reminded that it happened at all, but at least Ryou is here. At least he's alive, he didn't take a death, he is handling the added injuries so well it's actually a bit concerning (it's got to be because Ryou's spent so much of his time injured that he's much, much too used to it, and doesn't see the point of waiting to kiss until he's feeling better, which, fucked up, Atem just wants to talk).
Ryou's breathing, he hasn't lost his mind, he's not lost his memories. He's not gone.]
I'm glad I can. I'm glad I didn't lose my chance...
[He pulls back, far enough to look at Ryou, get one hand back on Ryou's cheek, letting the other rest across Ryou's waist at his hip.
Atem's so glad Ryou wasn't killed, so glad it makes his heart hurt.
(this hurt will be repaid, he swears it, paid for in agony and blood.)
He moves in again, and he's going to kiss those feelings out, until thinking about it hurts less. The snakes aren't exploring comfortably, not like before -- they press themselves to Ryou's face and hair, wherever they can reach. Nothing like Ryslig to make you grateful for the little things, like "at least the torture wasn't fatal this time." Atem's own fingers trace Ryou's cheek, under his eye. Some of the snakes are hissing again, but not the ones in close.]
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Ryou desperately doesn't want it to end.]
You'd have to try harder than that to lose any chance.
[That's all he says, with a soft smile curving the corners of his lips as he looks on at Atem with probably a pathetic amount of adoration. This is dumb. He's dumb. But it's okay to be dumb if you like someone, he's come to realize.
His eyes slip closed as Atem's lips meet his once more, and this time the sound he makes isn't really a happy little hum. It's...something lower, something more satisfied. He's not going to push anything further, he's happy to exist in this liminal space between finally admitting feelings and actually attempting to control any part of this.
Then again...Ryou was never much for controlling anything besides his own tabletop games.
So he lets Atem have his opportunity to explore the kiss. To explore him, but only if he wants. After all, he'd made out with the dream version pretty thoroughly on his living room floor until they were basically tangled in each other and there wasn't anything else to think about. Why shouldn't the real version be granted the same courtesy?
...Not that he expects Atem to do anything very overt. The kiss is just...nice, really.]
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Atem's kissing Ryou like Ryou is the most precious thing in the world, with the drive of someone who'll fight to keep it from being taken away. It's careful, and it's gentle, but Ryou is held like you'd hold an animal you thought you'd lost, but found again -- you love them too much to squeeze them too tight, but keeping hands off them is hard too, and you never want to let them go, ever, because you're angry and frightened and glad.
And then Ryou makes that lower sound, and something inside Atem's chest, then down closer to his stomach, turns molten. He's not sure what he's going to do about that, besides take a breath in through his nose, and feel the mania carrying him get redirected, like a diverted river. His snakes quiet again, but they don't go still; Atem deepens the kiss (a clawed hand slides up to the back of Ryou's head, a thin forked tongue slips past his lips) as nearly a dozen little heads caress Ryou's face with theirs. Small snake-chins bump against Ryou's cheeks and forehead and ears (though not into them), even pushing their way into his hair, where it's warmest.
Yeah, that's, ah, that's not a sound that anyone Atem's dated has made for him. Looks like dating won't immediately make everything weird? Well, weirder than a bunch of snakes deciding to hide in Ryou's hair, at least.]
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But this...this is what's keeping him here. What's diverting all of the negative things. It's Atem's lips, his tongue, his adorable little hairsnakes pressing against Ryou's face, and he's melting, too warm, every part of him is tingling.
He hasn't said it, he still isn't sure if it's right to say it but in this moment, he really does love Atem. It's unequivocal. And when the snakes start to bury themselves in his hair, gently tugging at the strands, he shivers a little, because it's a pleasant feeling on top of all the rest of them.
Please, nothing ever interrupt this. Let him live...]
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It's not loud from in here, but it's sharp and businesslike and cuts through the air, carrying even into the bedrooms. There's a moment of hesitation, as Atem decides if he wants to move, but a second knock knock knock! presses the issue.
Atem's tongue retreats, his grip loosens, the kiss breaks with a quiet little sound, and he straightens up, listening. His snakes turn toward the door. Ryou is beloved but also Ryou needs help, and this is a necessary step that needs to be taken before any more kissing, Ryou being unnaturally used to wounds or not.]
That might be the doctor...
[There's a little bit of color high in his cheeks, but it's a flush from the kiss, not any particular embarrassment. He doesn't feel at all like he's been caught doing something he isn't supposed to do. Atem stands by all of his choices today. The hand around the back of Ryou's head has gone down to his shoulder, but the one on his hip is definitely still resting there, even as Atem's shoulders turn to follow his snakes. He'd better get that.]
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He thought it, he had to fucking think it and now the kiss is over and Ryou lets out a soft whine of annoyance because...because he was enjoying that! But then...Atem's right. He's always right, and as soon as the word doctor leaves his lips, Ryou finally lets his fingers uncurl from around Atem's side and oh, owwwww, yeah.
Yeah he needs a doctor. As he pulls away reluctantly, still pouting in frustration, he remembers why he'd struggled in the first place. The medicine had dulled the edge, of course, but the sustained gripping motion has his arm burning pretty badly. It's like an itch, but he knows if he scratches it he'll probably bring himself to tears.
...And then there's the leg. No, he's not moving that.]
F...fine, it's...yes. Y-you should get the door.
[Ughhhh everything hurts and his heart wants what it wants but he he can't have it yet, so whatever Atem decides, he's going to get a good look at a pouting shade with a blush all the way up to his ears. Sheesh.]
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He pushes his body off the bed, bringing his whole self up, but...before he goes, he leans back in, in a big snakelike arc, and takes Ryou's chin to turn his face to Atem's, and plants a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Atem can't make it better with justice, not yet, but he can offer reassurance and care.
Three or four tiny tongues flick over Ryou, too. One of them snifflicks the bridge of Ryou's nose. Sssssh.]
I'll be back.
[And he lets go and slithers out.]
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Ryou blinks once when Atem turns his face...then relaxes just a bit when he's kissed at the corner of his mouth. Atem would probably feel it too, just a half-second before he pulls away, when Ryou starts to smile. It's a vague shadow of one, at least up until some of the snakes join in and then he can't help himself--the smile becomes dopey and contented when their little tongues tickle at his face. Ryou please, there's something to be said of rose-tinted glasses here.]
H-heh heh...'kay.
[He'll be patient. But just for you, Atem. He also won't be moving much because uhh when Atem isn't there, the world reminds him everything hurts.]
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1/2 what have you done
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