softspokenlandlord | IC Inbox

That's good...after everything that's happened, you'll have to forgive me for jumping to conclusions!

[after he's been abducted and sent somewhere he didn't want to be....how many times in a month and a half? too damn many.]

I'm all right. I'm a little more "dead" than the last time we spoke, I'm afraid, but it's not so bad! I've been settling some matters from two weeks ago that were interrupted by last week's strangeness.

What about you? Are you out? Staying with someone?

[He does remember being concerned about Bakura's living situation...but he's probably just crashing at someone's house. He's a nice guy and probably has plenty of friends to stay with, if he's feeling down!]

Edited (last edit i swear) 2021-03-26 08:09 (UTC)

[Ohhh, if only the other Yugi knew. Ryou wasn't about to have that conversation with him. Conversation right now is...hard enough. He doesn't care for it, he can't bring himself to capitalize, nothing feels right.

But...this is a friend. He wants to sound right.]

oh. i guess you've gone native then. sorry, it's not exactly fun but dying sounds bad.

[There's a pause between texts, because his mind's in such a haze of uncertainty and stress. Still, he gets back on point as best he can.]

i am out. i'm alone. just need time to think i guess. it isn't really impor

[SHIT he meant to backspace, but instead he grazed enter. Ughhh.]

please disregard that last part. my mistake. what were you dealing with, actually? if i can ask.

[Mmm, he might have gone a little native. He did just stick his teeth in someone's throat! But he thinks of that less as going native and more as working within the rules, using the tools at his disposal, to operate effectively. He's got to get better at playing the game, because that's how you stop bad things from happening to you, right?

(Other Yugi, no.)

And everything that happened to him until now was his own fault for messing up and playing badly.

(Other Yugi, no.)

But he brings none of this up because he understands that a lot of people here find game talk upsetting, Bakura included, and he is getting a strong sense that Bakura is already upset. But Bakura doesn't like to talk about his own problems, doesn't he? A direct attack won't work. The other Yugi decides to keep him talking and look for openings.]

Dying, mostly! And a theft. But I've got my property back, and I'm back from the dead -- at least, in a general sense.

look i'm going to keep this as straight as i can and you don't have to answer but after what happened before all this, i have to try.

when you say dying, was it because of changing during the fog, or is it because someone killed you?

[Ryou's feeling extremely blunt. Sorry other Yugi, but he just needs to get at least one row of ducks in any semblance of an order. His mind is just...way too muddled right now, and this also might provide a distraction from what he is sure comes off as very unusual behavior on his part.

...So tell him or don't tell him, but he is going to ask. Daniel's network post was rife with insinuations and outright admittance that someone other than Dandy had died.]

[Other Yugi looks at his computer, staring at the blinking cursor, resting his chin on his hand. He's got to think about this before he replies. "After what happened before all this" -- he knows Daniel put a message on the forum the monsters use, Dr. Robotnik mentioned it. If he says he was killed...Bakura's not dumb. He'll figure it out.

Does he want to share that...? He's got the option of not answering. The other Yugi doesn't want to lie; he dislikes outright lying a lot. He could hide it...but...

...they were friends, as their other selves. He'd shared things with Ryou. Ryou'd seen him frightened, more shaken than the other Yugi ever remembers being. Shutting him out here feels...it feels in his gut like a wrong move, one he'll pay for. It sits wrong with him -- it goes against all his instincts that tell him that friends support friends.]

It wasn't just a fog change.

[For just a moment...Ryou's world does realign enough to feel anger that the other Yugi had been hurt. For one long stretch of seconds, he wants to comfort his friend and tell him that it wasn't fair or right. To sympathize and figure out how best to help him recover from that scenario, if he could even do that.

Instead, he remembers that he's not even sure if their friendship was real. Maybe it only went as far as tolerance, and this check-up on Ryou was just out of some obligation imposed upon the other Yugi by a fake world.

Who knew which world was fake, which was real, or even if Ryou was who he thought. Just like that, he's in the haze and his answer is so, so ineffective.]

i'm sorry. i wish i could help you. you didn't deserve this...

[He means it, but he still feels as if every word he types out is an imposition so he keeps at distance.]

[The other Yugi doesn't like feeling weak, or like he needs help. Asking for help is okay and totally not weak -- when other people do it. It's okay when Yugi does it! Friends support each other! But as himself, he's a very proud, even arrogant person, and especially without his other heart around, he edges into overconfidence in his own abilities.

But the other Yugi can tell something's bothering Ryou, something Ryou doesn't want to talk about. He's distant, and it's impossible to tell over a forum message what the reason for that is.

So, he takes his wounds, and he leverages them for positioning, to ask for them to be in the same place, despite Ryou's withdrawal. He's gambling on Ryou's preference for focusing on others' problems over his own; he antes up himself and his pride.]

Coming by would help. I don't really want to talk about it, but I could use a friend! Are you up to it?

[It's no wonder these two are friends, given how much they have been trying to deflect each other. Ryou doesn't know if he can continue stringing the other Yugi along at this point though.

He needs a friend. Even if Ryou can't quash his own feelings about who he is or whether he is...he can't just let someone he knows suffer alone. If talking will help...then he'll do it.

It takes an unfortunately obvious time before Ryou messages back. Maybe the other Yugi didn't notice??]

i can come over. did you have a specific time in mind? and some directions if that's okay. i still get turned around sometimes.

[Whew. The other Yugi holds his pride close; laying it down to make that move wasn't easy for him. It's the truth, of course: the other Yugi doesn't lie if he can possibly help it. Misdirect, yes. But not lie. But it's an attempt to bring Ryou to him, to have a conversation face to face, so he can gauge how bad the problem really is.

After all, when the other Yugi disappeared for a week, he was being sacrificed, then hunting the architect of the ritual. This is obviously worse than what Ryou's letting on, but there's no telling anything else for sure yet.]

Come by around ten?

[PM, obviously. They're both night-types. He's going to give a time because a vague "come by whenever" is very easy to put off.]

I'm still at Hestia's. It's in the [section of the city it's in] district, off of [road] and [road], but before you get to [road].

[....it'll also give him time to make sure everything's tidy.]

i'll be there.

[It's really all he can think of to say. He's glad for a time in some ways, because it lets him figure out how to make himself more...presentable, so to speak.

But it also means that he can't sneak out of this easily. Somehow...he's certain that was what the other Yugi intended. Ryou had seen enough of his strategy in various games to know that all moves were calculated. It's mostly his respect for the other that keeps him from taking too much offense, with the funk he's in also providing a bit of numbness which makes it...fine. He supposes.

He's not as punctual as he might usually be, but Ryou does indeed make good on his promise to arrive sometime near ten. He meanders a little, asks around, but finds his way to the other Yugi's room eventually and reaches out to knock.

Then his anxiety gets the better of him and he forgets to make his arm corporeal...and it phases through the door. Realizing what he's done, Ryou makes an embarrassed noise and tries to both make his arm corporeal and pull it out in a panic.

That...works about as well as one would think, and he just rattles the door.]

Ah! No, come on...

[Probably just as the other Yugi realizes it, he finally dislodges his shadowy arm from the door, and he doesn't knock. He just stands there.

Actually maybe he should leave? Should he leave? That was too embarrassing to stay, right? He's got to leave, yes.]

[The rattle gets his attention! He definitely sees the arm go through the door. Aha, that's the shadow person he's been waiting for.

Ryou gets his arm free and stands there in mortification, but before he can ditch without getting caught, the door opens.

The other Yugi looks different from the time Ryou saw him last, as well as the time before that. His skin's got a deathly pallor, though it's not nearly as bad as it could be, and little fangs flash in his mouth when he speaks. There's a lurking mania in his eyes, a tension Ryou's not seen before, but it's not prominent right now -- it's almost hidden by a glad look, a good, you came.]

Hey.

[The room behind him isn't small: it's made to accommodate monsters that sometimes grow twenty or thirty-foot tails. It's not been personalized much: mostly the indications that someone lives here are heavy curtains, open for now but with a roll of tape on the windowsill, and a belt sander for some reason? It sits on the desk next to a bunch of pencils. What the fuck, other Yugi.]

[Ryou's stiff as a board when the other Yugi answers the door. Thankfully he hadn't been able to decide whether he was just going to swoop out of there in time, so...yep. Here he is, the tallest nerd.

The greeting snaps him out of it and his very normal reaction is to flinch at first. Then, he attempts to make himself relax. The other Yugi might notice that Ryou's form is...patchy. He's only mostly corporeal, enough to float his clothes onto his body, but there's rippling edges along his limbs that seem darker than the rest.

He's...not moderating his corporeality very well, and whatever he is doing successfully is making him extra tired. But, he had promised a visit.]

Hello, Yugi. Um. How are you?

[Ryou knows there's something beyond that expression, something pulled taut and uncomfortable, but there's something else on his mind right now. Something that even pulls him out of his own head long enough to notice.]

Wait...are you a vampire?

~~[Ryou you can't just ask if someone's a vampire that's rude.]~~

[A wry shrug. So you noticed!]

Looks like it.

[He opens the door fully, and steps out of the way.]

I shouldn't crack a joke about needing an invitation....but you are welcome to come in!

[Guess who ran into that invitation restriction really early and dislikes it a ton? Also, guess who copes with "I'm a creature of darkness with powers that scare me" by taking it all in stride and skimming over the top like he's got a handle on all of it? Hint: it's the same guy.]

Oh. Yes, thank you. Sorry if that was rude.

[Ryou is a mess. That's pretty clear. But as he walks inside the other Yugi's apartment, he notices the sander and tape that he hadn't really been paying attention to before. He...makes a note to ask about it later, but maaaaybe he shouldn't lead with it.]

I take it you had problems entering places? There's always something to get used to besides your changes, I guess. Well, as far as I'm concerned, you have pre-visit invitation rights to my place, if it matters.

[He turns to the other Yugi, standing practically at attention with one arm gripping the other awkwardly. He's just...standing pretty uselessly in the-near middle of the room like he's waiting to be told off or something.]

Anyway, I know...you said you don't want to talk about the dying thing. I understand. [boy does he understand avoiding things...] Is there anything you would like to do in the meantime? We could, um. Well, ah. We could talk about...what...it was like for us before. In the alternate universe.

[He's calling it what it is. He knows what an AU is, alright? He does absolutely nerdy tabletop stuff, among other things. Not that he wants to discuss it at all, it makes his nonexistent skin crawl to consider it all. Oh. What if the other Yugi feels the same?]

Or! We could discuss games. Play a game? Anything really.

That invitation's very kind! Not to mention a good idea in case there's an emergency... I have been having trouble getting into places. Any building someone considers to be "home," even if they don't sleep there...I have to get permission to enter, either from the person themselves or someone inside the building. It's tricky!

[He sees Ryou's uncomfortable body language, hears him jump from subject to subject, tired and uncertain and the other Yugi takes charge of the conversation. He can't really ask if he can get Ryou anything; he's not sure how to make a shade comfortable! But he can fill the silence. The other Yugi crosses to a small table by one of the open windows and takes an easy seat in one of the two chairs; he makes a gesture inviting Ryou to take a seat, if he likes.

There's still that weird tension, though, that mania below the surface, as though he's way too awake, as though he's watching everything.]

Where is your place? I don't think I got your address last time...it's not where it was in the other world, is it?

[Ryou does take the invitation to move to the table, and despite his height he can still take a seat pretty easily. It's always about figuring out where to put his arms, honestly. They're too long, and trying to shorten them requires a little too much concentration.

He's fairly certain that shapeshifting yourself until you faint is bad guest manners. So he just...kind of crosses his arms on his lap and curls his too-long fingers inward. He glances at the other Yugi, but a little off the side. He finds that sometimes staring dead on with his glowing eyes can be, uh. Unsettling.

All the same, he's actually looking into his friend's eyes directly. It might not look it, but he's...searching that expression. Trying to figure out whether he's actually okay.

The answer is no, of course. Their network conversation was a blatant admittance of such. But...he's not sure if he should press, or if he even has the nerve.

That question though. Ohhhh, that question. Not a good one. Ryou doesn't want to think about the other place.]

No it's not. I don't even know where that was.

[He blurts out the words so quickly, so stiffly, that it's clearly a sore point with him.]

The address, right? Um. It's not far from here, just a couple blocks.

[He doesn't offer it immediately. Instead he shifts uncomfortably in place, trying to figure out how to change this subject from something that's got his heart pounding in his ears, even if the other Yugi didn't mean it. Come on, Ryou. Be the adult...keep it together, he needs you to be a good friend!!]

I'll tell you the address later, I just need to think of it a little harder, it's too new to me. It was Noa's idea, you know? To have a place to stay.

[Okay, okay. He's having a conversation. Yes!]

Do you like it here at Hestia's? It looks roomy. Maybe I should have come here when I first arrived.

[...whoa, the other world has really got Ryou upset. Did something happen that the other Yugi missed? Is there a monster or human he has to terrify? Because he will. He will deathtrap anyone who's responsible for the kind of fear he's picking up on, even if Ryou's only partly corporeal.

If he finds the glowing eyes, or the scrutiny, upsetting, the other Yugi doesn't show it. His eyes are manic, the twist of his mouth a little insane, but his body language is deliberately relaxed.]

Hestia's is all right! It's pretty easy to live here. It's temporary, though -- I'd like to find my feet here and get a place that's more mine. Even if it's group housing, the neighbors are pretty considerate...I know a few, but we don't talk much!

Noa...he sure works hard, doesn't he?

Noa really does work hard. He tries to help everyone settle in, which is admirable. Some of the new arrivals benefit from that stability.

[Ryou doesn't like this. He feels as if he's aimlessly wandering this conversation, seeking anything to grab onto so that he might be centered. That's not what he should be doing. He should be helping. In the other place, he'd been helpful. Yes, the thought of that makes his breathing quicken because it reminds him what he isn't sure of. But he also uses it as an excuse to switch topics to something more...in the now.]

Ah, Yugi? I know...you don't want to talk about what happened to you, and that's very understandable but I think you asked me here for a reason.

[Did he suss out the other Yugi's actual intention, then? Had he realized the ploy??]

You look very...on edge.

[...nope! He's none the wiser to the trick. He's just concerned for who he hopes is his friend.]

....

Do I?

[That's the expression of someone who has never noticed his own crazyface.

...the fact that he doesn't have a reflection anymore might have something to do with it -- the window next to the table reflects the whole room, since it's well-lit inside but dark out, but the other Yugi doesn't show up in the image -- but also, he's. He wouldn't have noticed it even if he did. Oops.

He takes a second to consider: is he acting different? How?]

...I suppose I'm determined. I swore to Daniel I'd make him pay for what he did, and on top of that, he had my puzzle. I tried for a week to find him. I couldn't think about anything else!

[He supposes that's what it feels like to be a vengeful ghost, dying with unfinished business.]

Now that I've got the puzzle back, and matters are settled with him...what comes next is making sure it doesn't happen again. I'm changing my circumstances, taking precautions, making it much harder to catch me off-guard! I know there's things that happen here that I can't predict. But I plan to avoid what I can, and make sure I have more options when things get bad.

[He'd played so carelessly at the beginning, he's practically embarrassed. Nope. No more of that. Amass resources. Grind away at the mini-games. Fill your inventory with dead man switches and blood. Secure your position. Play better, play to win.

He and Adam agree on one thing, and that's that a break is the first move in billiards. What do you mean there's another meaning?]

[Ryou frowns. It sounds about like what he'd expect from the other Yugi at this point--moves ahead of where anyone else was. He'd mentioned a dead man's switch before, so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that he could be planning this far ahead.

But that's just how he thinks of things, after all. Like a larger-than-life board game that you need to think ten moves ahead for.

The shade reaches a hand forward, as if he instinctively wished to make contact...but he stopped just short of it, simply flattening his too-large hand and fingers on the table. This isn't Adam. Hell, he's not even sure if this is real friendship, or if their current relationship is simply based on a connection from back home. A connection which Ryou had been the one to bring up. A connection that, quite frankly, was in absolute doubt in his mind not just because the other Yugi had no point of reference to go off of, but because when one is experiencing rampant imposter syndrome, nothing feels genuine.

But he's still here, still wanting to help, because if nothing else, he can't keep from believing that's part of who he is.]

Yugi, I think now that you've got your puzzle back and taken your revenge, maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a couple steps back. You just turned into something new and with everything going on, maybe you just need to, erm. Decompress. And not plan so much in a short span.

[The unspoken line there is "you need a BREAK."]

[A break? ...huh?]

...I can't. I've only got so many days before something happens again. I need to get blood from the clinic and figure out how to store it in case whatever happens in April cuts me off from it. I need to use the casino to build up a supply of solars for whatever I might need them for! And the nights are getting shorter and shorter, and I can only go out in the day when there's fog or when the weather's bad. I don't have any time to lose!

[Make an insight check, Ryou. You get Advantage for knowing Adam, but decide if Ryou being in the state he's in is enough Disadvantage to cancel that out. All your regular bonuses apply. On a 15+, you can tell that what's driving him is fear. On a 20...you see insecurity. You see someone who made wrong calls during his first month and a half, and who paid for them, and who blames himself for them happening to him. You see someone who was never meant to feel powerless, but who was placed in a situation where he was totally helpless. You see someone desperate to regain control over his own circumstances, and sincerely believes he can, if he just does better.

On a 10 or below he's just a workaholic.]

[Ryou listens. He listens and processes all of that as the other Yugi offloads his entire agenda for probably...if he had to guess?

A day.

Is that pity? No...not really pity in its rawest form. Ryou just feels a strong need to support his friend, and he's glad that being a Shade hadn't stripped that from him. He's not really sure where to start at this point though.]

Yugi. Listen. If you need help, I can assist you with any of that, but if you spend all your time doing it and end up tired anyway, then how prepared can you possibly end up?

[Remember. Ryou's a DM. He spends all his time planning things out for the enjoyment of others, and also plays both sides. Villain and support. Surprisingly, this is pulling him from the edge of a breakdown for the moment, because this is something he wants to do. Help. He knows what it's like to be stripped down to nothing but an anxious nerve, to question what you could have done differently to keep from suffering.

...So not a 20. But pretty high.]

You're going to run yourself ragged over something that you couldn't control, and then the next time it happens, nothing will change, because you're going to be stockpiled and ready while you're hardly able to stand and face it. Ryslig is an ugly place with misguided people, and the bad things won't stop. But more than solars and dead man switches, don't you think you could stand to lean on a friend?

[A pause. This next part isn't to guilt the other Yugi, despite what it sounds like. Ryou can't help but to ask it...because this is where his own heart is weak.]

Aren't we friends? Can't you depend on me?

[That....

...

...that...makes a lot of sense. Ryou hits precisely the right notes, going from logic to acknowledgment of cold reality to reminding him that he does have friends to lean on, and that that's a source of strength.

The other Yugi doesn't think of himself as getting tired. That's something that happens to other people. But he's also used to being able to share the load of being a living person with someone else and only coming out to take care of the battles. He can't tag out and rest anymore, and he....hasn't thought of himself as needing to. But, of course, of course that'll happen, right? He'll be less effective if he's exhausted.

And he is tired. He has been working, and working alone, and it's...it's always nice to be reminded that he isn't. That's one of his favorite feelings in the world -- when he realizes there are other people by his side, who will fight with him. The Millennium Puzzle's power is unity; that means he's strongest when he's not alone.

He shuts his eyes, huffs a breath, and gives a tiny I've-been-an-idiot smile. Then, the other Yugi looks back up.]

Of course.

Of course we're friends, Bakura!

[it was silly, very silly of him to not count on that sooner.]

You're right -- if I spend all my time preparing for the worst, I'll be too tired to fight. I've still got things I want to do, but...they don't all have to happen right now.

And I don't have to do it alone. I know I can count on you.

[The next part kind of slips out, without him meaning for it to.]

Heh...I guess I'll have to figure out how to rest for myself...

[aw, shit. oops! that's a very weird way to put it when you are definitely a whole person and not a fragment of someone's soul / something that was in the puzzle]

Sorry! I know that's a weird thing to say, but it's the truth. I don't know...how I decompress. I've never had to!

[He totally thinks Bakura doesn't know about there being two Yugis. He figures the guy won't ask.]

[Ryou had done so good with that whole friendship tirade. He'd kept his entire cool to support the other Yugi and he was happy to do it. But somehow, the admission that they were indeed friends triggered something in him. He thought he'd want to hear it after all, but hearing it just brought up more questions.

Which Ryou is the real Ryou? Which friendship is the one that matters?

Who are you? Why are you?

Adam? Or Atem? Which one? Which one is real?

Without realizing, Ryou brings his hands to the sides of his head, covering his ears. He should keep pressing to be supportive, but he doesn't know what to do. Everything's still too mixed up, he shouldn't have ever left his apartment. But if he hadn't...wouldn't the other Yugi just be making bad decisions for himself? He made a little difference, right? He'd never made that difference before, so why does his mind have to invalidate it.]

I'm sorry...I'm sorry. Please just. Give me a minute.

[If the other Yugi could just ignore the way he looked right now, that'd be great! It'll pass...right?]

[lmao fat chance of ignoring that. He half-rises out of his chair, concerned and alarmed.]

Bakura? Bakura!

What is it?

[Protectiveness creeps into that alarm, a fierce willingness to get involved in this.]

Someone hasn't hurt you, have they?

[Is there an ass he has to kick? That's the most pressing question on the other Yugi's mind -- because obviously, if someone's traumatized, it's someone else's fault, it's because something happened. Bakura's been on-edge, reluctant to respond, difficult to get hold of, and when the other Yugi filters that through his own experiences, it makes him fear that someone's done something terrible to Ryou, like how something terrible was done to him.]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, WhiteWizard. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 007.80.751.19 * WhiteWizard has joined 007.80.751.19 <WhiteWizard> Hello, this is Ryou Bakura! <WhiteWizard> Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything. :) <WhiteWizard>** I will get back to you as soon as possible.

IC Inbox | ryslig

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it's super effective!

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i feel like i should have thrown a cw: anxiety a few tags back whoops

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mmm referencing that real name for a sec. :V

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