softspokenlandlord | IC Inbox

[When Atem pulls back and looks him in the face, Ryou looks...pretty miserable, yeah. Guilty, worn out, and pretty tired, yes. The souls he'd eaten weren't going to be enough. He'd have to go out again, because even healing from injuries less grievous than this one had been had taken it out of him.

He'd had to hunt out of cycle once he'd grown back his arm and leg, and he'd made really bad choices then, choices he kept in his heart and away from anyone who might see the monster inside. Because there was one. The angry, vengeful creature that consumed indiscriminately and hurt the people he cared about.

No one could tell him he didn't have a monster inside of him. Not anymore. But so that he didn't hurt them...he'd keep those thoughts inside. They could only hurt him. And that was fine.]

Will you stay with me? Just until I'm asleep, then you can leave if you want to.

[He closes his eyes and exhales softly. Even though his body hurts, his heart hurts and his mind feels heavy...being here, forehead to forehead...it's comforting. He doesn't even realize he's leaned in to press a fond kiss to the bridge of Atem's bat-muzzle until a few seconds have passed.

Perhaps just a casual reminder that Atem being a bat-monster will never bother him.]

Of course I will.

[He pulls back again, this time to press the tip of his snout, just a little bit of his nose and mouth, against Ryou's cheek, near his mouth, returning the gesture. Then, Atem unhooks his wings from Ryou's shoulders, unwraps them from him, and tucks them back into their usual position. Hands back in pockets, elbows tucked in.]

Your room's back in order, but...if it's too hard, after what happened, we can sleep in mine.

[Either way. Sleeping in Atem's room is less frequent, since it's more often that he goes over to Ryou's, but it's not off-limits. Even the boxes under the bed and in the closet have been moved to a better workshop.]

[The boop is nice. It brings forth a small amount of levity to what had been a rough situation...and then Ryou has to make a choice. Where are they sleeping?]

Nnnh.

[Ryou had wanted Atem to stay with him partly because his room felt strange. It had felt foreign to him, devoid of a great deal of what made it his space, and after being healed and having his vision spring back, to see that...it had frightened him at first.

Before that, he'd been frightened too. Very much so. He remembers screaming a lot, even if he couldn't hear it. The stress on his throat reminded him that he was conveying himself somehow.

When Atem pulls back, Ryou finally comes back to himself and answers.]

If it's okay...yours. I won't make it a habit, h-haha. Unless...you want me to.

[He loops an arm around Atem's, because he wants to be close. He wants to be loved.

~~He wants to be forgiven~~

It'll be up to Atem to lead. Ryou will follow in his steps.]

Atem...do you remember things from then? When we were children, I mean.

[He, personally, was having some troubles remembering everything. Maybe it had to do with his head growing back, or maybe he was repressing some stuff. But he remembers a few things...]

[His is fine. Atem's gotten very comfortable with availing himself of Ryou's space, coming in if he wants to. He prefers a little more privacy in his own space, but inviting Ryou in is perfectly all right.

The door's been open much more lately so that Tybolt can come in during the day. Whoops.

Atem gives the arm in his a gentle squeeze, and does lead the way -- one of his wing-claws hooks a bottle of water behind Ryou's back as they pass the water case.]

Yes, I do. Actually, I've got a few memories now from when I was alive...they're fragmented, not whole like they were during the fog, but they're definitely mine.

[Ryou walks, and he almost smiles whenever Atem squeezes his arm. Almost. But what really makes his expression shift to something more positive, relieved and relaxed, is the fact that Atem does remember. There was something good that came from this. Atem's memories were precious. A rarity. Ryou wanted him to have them.]

I'm happy for you. Even if there's only a few, that's good. You were...you were a good person then too.

[He pauses.]

...You liked ducks. Right?

[He remembers. He remembers eating flavored ramen on the floor, over there, as they walk past...he remembers how amazing it had been that there wasn't any sand in it at all. He remembers talking about ducks, and he remembers the pond in the garden they had used to come to...]

Yes. I did.

They used to fly into the gardens, and...you could find them in the reeds by the river. My mother didn't like them at all! But...

[He's got to pause a second there, just inside the door to his room. Atem draws a sharp breath. He's been so busy thinking ahout other things, trying to find things to think about that aren't what he doesn't want to look at, that the emotion from this hasn't really hit him.

His voice is still the rumbly monster growl, but it's gone quiet.]

I remember the face of my mother.

[And her name. And his father. And his father's name.

Give him, uh. Just give Atem a second, here.]

[Ryou takes the pause in stride. The fight they'd had is cast aside for now, in favor of whatever it takes to remind Atem of something happy. He deserves that. Ryou's free hand reaches towards Atem's hand and he curls his fingers over the top of it.]

I'm glad that you know it now. You've won back something important, haven't you? I remember the monsters that chased us and tried to scare us...but at least we have some good memories together, and you have some forgotten memories that were in your heart, just for you.

[Those memories were a side-effect of something unexpected that had happened to them. But if Ryou hadn't been killed...would this even have been a bad experience? He wonders.

You corrupted something precious to him. You broke it. You hurt him. You made it bad. Bad. Bad. Bad--]

...D-do you know her name?

[It had been pretty bad. Atem had been frightened. He'd seen people hurting awfully.

There's also the traitorous, suspicious part of his mind that wonders if those memories are real, or if they're like what happened with Marco's portal, which Atem doesn't trust took people to their homes at all.

But...maybe he'll be able to confirm some of it with people from his world. The Ring-Spirit, or Marik. Cross-reference names, places. And, until then...he nods.]

Kiya.

[He holds Ryou's fingers, is quiet a second.]

I wonder how long it's been, since someone's said her name. I wonder if they found her...

[Maybe her tomb was found, or her name and carvings were on a monument, and Egyptologists talk about her sometimes, and she's just not as famous as Hatshepsut.

Or, maybe it never was, and she's resting quietly somewhere, and this is the first time anyone's given her that kind of power in the afterlife.

....

Weird, to go from not particularly caring about religious practices to feeling like this is significant. Okay. Nope. He's going to think about that more when Ryou is asleep, and not get lost behind his own eyes while Ryou is still here, when Ryou is finally back.]

Come on. You're the one who needs to be resting peacefully!

[He nudges Ryou toward bed.]

Edited 2021-10-07 17:27 (UTC)

I'm going! I'm going...

[Ryou steps into Atem's room, which feels weird. They were always in his room, they slept in his bed...not this one. But Atem was correct--Ryou didn't want to sleep in his room. Things were back in place, perhaps, but it still felt...wrong. The experience in general is still raw, and he doesn't want to think about it.

Gruesome things tend to roll off his back, but not that. Not yet. Maybe not ever?

He can't think about that now. He can't.]

Yuo should too, though. If not right now...then sometime soon. You do too much, Atem. Have you been resting enough since I was...

[Dead?]

...away?

[Will Atem even be honest with him? He doesn't believe that Atem would lie, just that he held himself up to a higher standard than others, and so didn't think he needed to take breaks. But there's still time to consider the answer as Ryou busies himself with moving towards the bed, running a hand across the sheets and reveling in the thought of being in Atem's personal space, just for a little while. In his bed.

He also thinks about what a pretty name Kiya is. Thinking about what it must have been like, being part of the royal family. Was she comfortable being the wife of a pharaoh and the mother of the future of their people?]

[Long days in the workshop, nights in Ragnarök's kitchen slicing bodies he didn't source, ribcages snapping open as springloaded winglike bars release their tension, metal hooks sanded down into the shape of claws extracted from torn skin, hearts exposed, still beating, the easiest thing in the world to wind a hand around their backs and bring their open chests up to his teeth, the eighth-floor glances in the hallway between those who witnessed the last gasp of Fabius Bile, the shape of the Ring-Spirit barely seen in the dark, emergency blood drives at the clinic and midnight harvests of enough blood to kill into bags neatly dated and stored, old names in papers, new names on graves--

He shuts his eyes, smiles a you-got-me smile.]

...ah, I'm afraid not.

[He steps toward the bed, dropping the bottle of water on a nightstand that used to have a book on it but doesn't anymore and then using the same wing-claw to pull the bedsheets down.]

But I've got every intention of sleeping through to tomorrow.

Edited 2021-10-07 18:19 (UTC)

[Ryou thought not.

He doesn't scold Atem though, instead he stoops down, settles himself on the bed and moves to the far end. Plenty of room for a large bat to squeeze in. And once he's laying down...Ryou feels as if a weight's been lifted from his shoulders, because he doesn't have to stand, and he doesn't have to move. The discomforting feeling of drinking too much water at once is not so bad like this. He is still dizzy though. That's fine. When he closes his eyes, it'll be better.]

Resting is important. I would be happy to know you caught a few extra hours of sleep with me.

[He tries not to sound overly happy about the though, Atem is free to do what he wants! He can get up, leave Ryou sleeping, do other stuff. It's okay.

Ryou wouldn't say no though, to having a bat-shaped body pillow.]

What are you doing all the way over there?

[If Ryou's eyes are closed, or he's facing away, he might end up caught by surprise as two hands and two wings reach out to pull Ryou in. Ryou's going to end up lying on one of the wings if he doesn't fight it, and the other ends up slipping between Ryou and the blankets above. It's not fast enough to be a shock, there's no weird monster speed making this hard to fight or something that might spook, and it's gentle enough that Atem's being mindful of how bad Ryou feels physically right now, but -- the person Atem wanted to be there most has been absent for painful reasons for over a week. So as long as Ryou's up for being held, Ryou is getting held.

He usually is. So, as long as it's not so rough it hurts, Atem's not expecting to be pushed away. He'll be careful!]

[Ryou does sputter a little, because he didn't expect Atem to scoop him up like that. It's not uncomfortable, because Atem is gentle and Ryou's aware of how gentle in the way he moves, almost cradling the shade as if he might break.

...Ryou feels like if it was anyone else, he might, but instead, he finds himself wriggling closer, trying not to harm the leathery limb beneath him.]

I'm not too heavy am I?

[Look he's just worried about your wing-bones, Atem. Ryou's a little heavier than usual since he was going full-solidity. Still, the way he curls in close...it's clear that this is where he wants to be. When you feel like absolute garbage, being by someone you care about is important. Being enveloped in their wings is even better.

He considers wrapping an arm around Atem, but...instead, he brings his hand up to cup Atem's cheek. It's weird, because he's got a bat face, but Ryou likes weird. Ryou's always liked weird.

...He wants so much to kiss Atem, but they can't this way, can they? Not the way Ryou wants. Not without perhaps making it too weird for Atem. Besides which, Ryou shouldn't be doing involved activities like that right now, he still feels atrocious.]

I love you...you know that, right?

[Even if they argue...even if they don't always see eye-to-eye, he loves Atem unconditionally.]

[He gives a little headshake -- no, not too heavy at all. Especially during the fog. This form is tougher...Ryou's fine like this. Atem's eyes fall half-closed as his face is touched. The sore feelings from the fight are ebbing, scabbing over, well on its way to healing. His face presses lightly into Ryou's hand, and his voice is a low rumble.]

I know. I love you, too.

[He's got no idea how kissing would go with a horrible ear-to-ear bat-maw. Nose boops are about the best he can manage, because he's not Lila, who just fuckin goes for it. Instead, he brings their foreheads together again, getting one arm settled under Ryou's head and the other around his back.

...he really does want to do the catlike face-rub a lot when he's like this, Atem notes. He supposes there's a similar scent thing going on with bats, though his own nose isn't nearly good enough to pick it up. He could hold back, but...something in him doesn't mind being a little selfish right now. So, after a moment of forehead touch, Atem does nuzzle the side of Ryou's face with his own furry one, like an absolutely enormous cat.

He doesn't have snakes to show his feelings anymore, so...Atem has to do it himself.]

Good. You're important to me so...I'll keep saying it. Every day...

[Forehead presses are fine. Ryou's happy with that level of contact, and...after everything, he really does just want to forget their fight, the head-growing, how ill he feels--

--and the scar that itches at his neck. He knows it's there and he hates it. Ryslig has been scarring him worse and worse with every event, and to someone who is terribly self-conscious about his scars...it's hard. The extremity burn scars were difficult enough, now he has to hide something else that's in plain sight.

He doesn't want to think about it, so he nuzzles back and finally pulls his hand away, opting to finally wrap that arm around Atem and pull him in closer, if that's even possible. There's no spicy intentions, either. He just wants to be as close as possible right now.

He wants the comfort that this contact offers...and also keeping his eyes open is no longer enjoyable. He's switching to perceiving his boyfriend through touch, thanks.]

[The wings' thumb-claws find places to hook onto, and Atem settles back into a chin-tucked forehead-to-forehead rest. His upper hand comes up to stroke Ryou's hair, lightly, very gently with the claws.]

There's so much I want to tell you...but, not now. Today's for resting...

[He exhales the rest of that breath out, and his whole body sort of settles into place, becoming quite literal dead weight. He's not going to move for a good long while if he has anything to say about it -- he's not going to move away from Ryou until he's not this tired anymore.

Cares can and should wait. Sleep now.]

Mmhmm...

[Ryou exhales softly as he feels the clawed fingers in his hair. Yeah...that's nice...they can talk later. Atem's right. They have all the time in the world to talk, but for now, he can just forget about today. Sleep it off...

He's out like a light pretty quickly, curled up close and breathing softly.]

[A couple of days pass by uneventfully.

That is -- they're eventful for Atem, but in a way that's manageable.

He's in and out of the apartment, taking advantage of the fog while he can, but he's usually back before sunup, and Ryou's got an open invitation to be in Atem's room as much as he likes. As he pushes open the door, he announces his presence by immediately breaking into friendly conversation:]

Well, Black Hat and Handsome Jack didn't make the best murder themepark I've ever seen, but I'll admit it's got a sort of rustic charm.

[Honestly, they warned everyone that it was a theme park of death, which is more than Kaiba did, so aside from Javert being held captive there (not good), Atem feels fairly charitably toward it.]

I'm home!

[He drops a pile of solars on the counter, then pulls a hunk of meat out of a plastic bag -- Tybolt comes galloping up on his big doofy paws -- and starts putting it into a puzzle-toy he'd made in his trap workshop while Ryou was gone. Enrichment.

Now that the fog's just nicely cleared, it shows that, even if he hasn't rested right, Atem hasn't been starving himself, at least. Ryou may already know; offers to share kills were made. No point in wasting the souls of the people Atem's going through in order to prepare a blood supply for August and find Yugi a correct first soul-extraction victim.]

Edited 2021-10-08 03:49 (UTC)

[Ryou's days pass relatively simply as well. He did take Atem up on the advice about the clinic. Intravenous hydration was way easier than trying to drink a bunch of water, and it didn't leave him feeling so unwell. Just a little sore where the needle went in, and he's definitely felt worse.

Most of his time has been spent in the back room with the Monster World board, drawing up more concrete plans and starting to etch a top-panel with the requisite board squares so he could fabricate a prototype. It's busy work, and he really does need busy work these days. Anything to avoid going out or thinking about painful things. He hasn't done shopping for a while, and Atem had accommodated him with a souls to eat already, so he doesn't have to. That's for the best, because he can't keep wearing the scarf, it sticks out too much.

(He also hasn't been cooking or eating anything, which is usually something he does to feel like a normal person. But...he's not in the mood. And evidently his body doesn't like it, but he's dealing with that on his own. He thinks he's hidden the reflexive hunger pangs from Atem pretty well, and shades don't actually need human food, so he just needs to work through it a little while longer, then it'll get better. Right? Probably...)

When Atem arrives, Ryou's in the middle of taking a quick rest in the other monster's room. It's still much more comfortable than his own, but he's coming around! He can't invade Atem's privacy forever.

Ryou gets up out of bed, stretching for a moment before calling out:]

Oh, so that's what you were up to today? I suppose since I haven't really seen a murder themepark, I'll have to take your word for it!

[He pokes his head out of the room, smiling pleasantly.]

Welcome back. I see you've gotten Tybolt a snack.

[Ugh snack. Don't think about snacks. Noooooo.

Ryou steps out, arms crossed loosely over his abdomen. Shade arms are long arms, which is convenient, because it means he can apply subtle pressure which...makes him feel a little better.]

You didn't participate, did you? That would be reckless...

[It's in the name. Death. They don't need anymore of that.]

[Atem's noticed that there's not much in the fridge in the way of normal person food, but he hasn't thought much of it. After all, while food is fun and Atem likes it, he always feels lighter and healthier when all he eats is blood. Ryou's probably fine.]

No--

[--he says, bending down to put the big tray in front of Tybolt, who starts sniffing around at the sliding panels and levers to pull that he'll have to remember how to work in order to get the meat. Then, straightening, Atem picks up the pile of solars and taps it on the counter, straightening the bill-stack and putting it in order.]

--I won this at the blackjack table. I've still got a life left before I start to lose my memories, but that's no reason to be careless!

[He heads for his room, which means he'll pass Ryou on the way. A few feet away, he turns into a cloud of mist, one that goes up just about to Ryou's height -- and Ryou will feel a quick kiss on his cheek as it flows past him, before Atem reforms inside his own room. He's been working on that trick -- on turning only part of himself into mist, and on making only part of himself solid again. It takes a lot of concentration, but it's possible!

Anyway, what's that combination to the safe under the bed again...?]

[Correct. He's fine. He's excellent! ~~oof he's not fine he's dying~~

Ryou watches Atem set the enrichment toy down for Tybolt. He's impressed at the contraption, and he's meant to ask Atem about it because it's very clearly made with care and attention, and honestly anything that gets that lazy cat to move is impressive just on that merit.

He watches Atem straighten his money out with a bemused shake of his head. Honestly, Atem really does get rewarded for bad behavior all the time, doesn't he? He's too adept at games for his own good, does he even get how much money that is?]

I appreciate your discretion. Even if you do have one more life to lose, I'd prefer if you didn't...

[He's a little slow to turn his head--understandably, because Atem's a vampire--but that's for the best because he feels the kiss and it surprises him. Atem's doing...really good with his mist shifting.

Ryou lets out a tiny 'heh" to himself, then moves towards where Tybolt is working out how to get to the meat. He stoops down, balancing on his clawed toes and letting his hands settle on his knees. Not only is he giving Atem privacy, he gets to watch Tybolt think! And also he gets to keep his stomach grumbling to himself. Not going to bother Atem with that. This will pass. It's okay.

As Tybolt bats at one of the levers, he calls back:]

Do you have anything else to do today? Because I...wanted to ask you something. Just, uh. When you aren't busy, I mean.

[Atem has no idea how much money that is. It's all numbers, and some numbers impress the guy running the clinic, and some are enough to cover a taxi fare and a good meal and an extra set of clothes which is an absolutely reasonable amount to toss at a newcomer like it's nothing.

This amount gets put away safely, so that he can give a cut of it to the Lighthouse and another bit to the clinic and save the rest for if there's trouble. Atem's biggest expenses (phlebotomy bags) are covered already for the month!

He doesn't intend to lose his last free life to something like a murder park, though, he thinks, closing the safe back up. That life...he's saving it, for in case Yugi doesn't accept eating someone who's lost a game, or who wants their life ended. That life means another month of time to get Yugi out, a kill Yugi doesn't have to feel bad about, since it won't erase Atem, or any of his memories. No harm done.

But, now's not the time to think about that! The safe shuts again with a click, locking away winnings and worries, until it's time to take them out again.]

I'm not busy at all!

[Atem straightens up and turns around, headed back toward the kitchen, where Tybolt is hopefully licking a metal knob he needs to pull towards him to unlock a sliding panel.]

What is it?

[Gosh, he likes having Ryou around again. Ryou and the little lion they're helping to take care of...they're cute. Atem's mood is pretty good, right now -- he's in for the day, the lion's fed, Ryou's good on souls for now, Javert's been found and helped, all from the same shadow game. It's true that whatever he's about to be asked could be bad, but for the moment, Atem's calm. He'll take calm moments where he can get them, these days.]

[Ryou straightens up when he hears footsteps behind him, moving slowly so he doesn't make himself dizzy, then turns towards Atem. He's not wearing anything around his neck right now, and even though there were only two people who'd seen the awful scarring ringing his throat...he still can't help but feel self-conscious.

It shows in the way he tucks his chin down in a poor attempt to hide it, and the way his expression shifts. He's wearing the smile that's meant to cover up bad feelings, so that he looks happy when he's definitely not.]

It's just...I was wondering if you could...pick me up some extra scarves tomorrow? I can give you some money, but I'd prefer to stay here.

[He pauses for a moment, considering his next words carefully. He hates being troublesome, and asking Atem to do something for him that's out of the way. It's not very nice, is it?]

A-actually, you don't need to, that was--I don't know what I was thinking, I could just put on the purple scarf and shop for myself. Maybe find a nice sweater.

[Turtleneck. Anything to cover it up. With the cold weather rolling in, he can probably get away with it, and he looks alright in sweaters. At least he likes to think so. Long sleeves cover up everything too, so in actuality, this is a smarter move!

...He's already asked though. Atem's going to know why. Stupid, stupid Ryou.]

[...ah. So, that's bothering him. Atem can understand it; it's easy for Atem to lose track of his own scarring, because he can't see his own back or chest in a mirror, and he rarely looks at the bottoms of his feet. But it's getting to Ryou.]

Well, I don't mind at all. But I don't have to, if you've changed your mind!

[Wheels start to turn, like they always do when Atem is presented with a problem. What's the best approach?]

A scarf might come off, though...or get too warm when you go inside.

[He thinks he's got a solution. Atem knows what made him feel better, when it felt like somebody had gotten at his neck in early March...

He gestures to the buckle-collar around his neck.]

Want to borrow one of these?

[Ryou was about to agree that the scarf thing was probably more trouble than it was worth, and maybe try to gently guide this conversation in a different, less self-centered direction...but then Atem offers a different suggestion.

Ryou's gaze flicks down to the collar and. he blinks, because uhh. He's not quite...sure how to react to that, actually. He's never thought about putting a collar on, that was a thing Yugi did (and that by extension, Atem did), and maybe it looked cool and Ryou did have moments of wondering how it might feel, but...there hadn't ever been a practical usage.

He opens his mouth to opine on the whole thing and...]

...You have extras?

[That's not an opinion! That's also not a no, so...]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, WhiteWizard. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 007.80.751.19 * WhiteWizard has joined 007.80.751.19 <WhiteWizard> Hello, this is Ryou Bakura! <WhiteWizard> Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything. :) <WhiteWizard>** I will get back to you as soon as possible.

IC Inbox | ryslig

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sighs in taking sides in the was-tutmom-Kiya-or-Nefertiti debate but Kiya sounds more like a ygo

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cw gore/intrusive thoughts

oh boy to be a fly on the wall of THAT

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t-t-t-timeskip!!

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cw self sacrifice ideation

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